The Word B

men are crazy. women are definitely crazy. but i can't figure out who is crazier, us or them. they are crazy, but we just keep running after them, stumbling over ourselves, while trying to catch up. so who is crazier? it is all crazy.

back at work today. this being my third day back working on the beach. it has been like a bad case of de ja vu. collaroy beach- wind blown, no swell, crazy locals, and lots of little kids. i am there to earn some money and hang out to make sure the waters are safe. what a life! i get paid for it. can you believe it? in the famous words of marina four, "use and abuse."
really there was not a thing to report on all day long. it was terribly dull and quiet.

the countdown is on. the federal election in australia is only a few days away. once again, sides are divided on who will win and who should win. it would be wonderful to see the incumbent, that lying, mental-midget, dwarf, john howard ousted. but who knows? it is too close to call. i do not have the privilege to vote in australia, and if i did, it certainly would not be for that fool. as far as his major challenger, mark latham, he seems alright up to this point. however, he was the one who called john howard a "bush ass licker" a while back, so he already is forever endeared to my heart.
on the other side of the pacific, in my birth place of america, the campaigns are heating up and getting nasty. who would have guessed it would have turned into a verbal mud slinging match? kerry vs. bush. they are both a couple of jerk offs. but certainly one is a much more evil man than the other. only one of them is in cahoots with those rats, dick cheney, donald rumsfeld, and the rest. the same ones heavily investing into arms and weapons manufacturing companies in america. the same ones starting wars all over the world. it is so ugly. as far as john kerry condemning the new puppet leader in iraq ( i don't know his name), wonderful news. look back at american international interventions over the last 50 years. then consider the government leaders (puppets) they have put into power- noriega, marcos, hussein, the shah, bin laden, pinochet, the list goes on. funny, how they all seem to come back and bite.
would it be possible to ever elect a national leader with morals and integrity? democracy looks pretty pathetic these days.

there is a chicken roasting in the oven. also roasting, potatoes, sweet potato, onion, and eggplant. we are going to have a yummy dinner tonight. are you hungry yet?

this is a bit of cut and paste of a letter from my sister, at college. got me to thinking about when i was working as an ambulance officer for the state of new south wales. it was at times a fun job, but also very confronting. i got to see some interesting sort of aftermaths to many wild adventures in a people's lives. my very first job was taking an old lady home from hospital, assisting her into her own bed. after i had done so, before i could untangle her from my neck, she leaned over and kissed me. on my very last day, i saw a man who had been lying in his own bed for three days, eviscerated. he was alive. and now, after being a patient in hospital, getting poisoned for days form an iv, i can't stand to be anywhere near a hospital without feeling very sick. i am almost on the verge of puking, even now as i type these words, thinking about it.
my response:
your adventure to the hospital makes me laugh. i could have told you that you would be waiting a long time to see a doctor for only a broken finger. especially that late at night. mine and jennifers jobs for a while was dealing with people like that on a regular basis. to every individual their case is the most important, but after a while working in that field you begin to look at people like you would sheep or cows. it is when you see someone who is really fucked up, and there are many different ways that can occur, is when you realize that the majority of people in the waiting room, waiting, can wait. triage- it is a french word. and basically translates to sorting people out in the battle field by severity of wound/illness.
the story:
My night did not end very well afterwards. Upon returning my suit mate broke her finger and so we all drove out to the City of Claremont's ER. Apparently the campus hospital has very specific hours of operation and the on call team was occupied -- rescuing some unfortunate student from the belly of a stubborn elevator. The ER was packed with people ranging from drug overdose cases to mothers keeling over to puke. Everyone had a story.... When the approximation time of wait for us was five more hours, after already waiting two hours at midnight, we came home and did some "self repairage." I think she will walk down to the doctor's today. It was a fiasco... i guess she will have to become a left handed painter for this semester.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/basmati14/
this is my sisters online journal. she has some gems in there. quirky at times but fresh.

ok. i have a not so secret secret to tell. for the last 3 1/2 months i have been exercising my body and getting stronger and healthier, doing bikram yoga. some might think i have been beating myself up or torturing my body by doing this yoga, and at times, i have thought that too. however, i am feeling great. the outcome thus far has been amazing. bikram yoga is a type of yoga that is done in a hot room, about 40C or around 95F. let's put it this way- it is way hot, especially when you are giving your body a full workout for an hour and a half, stretching and strengthening. i have been going faithfully over these past months about 3-4 times a week.
the first time i went was on the recommendation of a friend, she has been doing this style of yoga for years. my first class, i sweated like i never had sweated before in my life. i figure between 2-3 liters of sweat came out of my body. the remarkable thing, was i could literally taste and smell the chemo-therapy drugs coming out of my body through my sweat. i was physically sick. up to that point i had believed that those drugs had been filtered from my body and was a thing of the past. how wrong i was! when i walked out form that first class of 90 minutes of yoga, i was ready to puke from my own sweat (i didn't). i went home to sleep straight away. i crashed out. but was back the next day for more. i figured, if those chemicals were still in my body, and through the yoga it was pouring out of me, this bikram yoga wasn't a bad thing. and so my journey began. 3 1/2 months down the track i am much healthier, stronger, and more bendy. although i can still smell and taste the residual amounts of the chemo drugs in my sweat, it is nowhere near the level it was when i first began. even now, every class is just as challenging as the first one i attended, but it is always a personal challenge. so it is always satisfying to participate in the classes. not to mention inspiring to see all these other fit and healthy looking human beings that doing the yoga. the whole thing is addictive.
not long after i began taking the bikram yoga classes in australia, i inspired my dad and sister to get involved in the same form of yoga in los angeles. both of them have had positive experiences of their own, and continue to take the classes. it is something that i would recommend to everyone, and i do. if you are the type of person that is up for a challenge, with the greatest rewards, then bikram yoga is it. if you are interested, look online for your nearest bikram yoga studio and go for it. all you'll need is a towel and a water bottle.

Fahrenheit 9-11. if you have not seen this documentary, you must. do it now! i only watched it the other day, and was appalled by what i saw. i had already known most of what was reported on, but was just sickened to see the whole thing spelled out the way it was. that guy george w bush jr. needs to be outvoted. there is no other alternative. regardless of what he says now and till the end of his campaign, he needs to go. for the health of the world, he and his cronies, need to go. do not buy into his scare tactics. just vote for someone else. preferably ralph nadar. but john kerry would be fine. just not bush.

we had two friends over for dinner the other night. it was a fun, wonderful evening. at one point the conversation turned towards the topic of terrorism. last week the australian emabassy in jakarta, had a bomb go off in front of the building. nine people were killed. i think all of them were indonesian, all innocent bystanders. the discussion quickly degenerated to referring to the terrorists as animals with no morals and simply pathetic in their actions etc. i sat quietly listening to what our guest was saying on the subject. i then posed this question to her, instead of wondering how anyone could do such a thing- suicide bombings, killing of school children, blowing up passenger jets, etc., because these acts have happened and continue to happen, we instead need to ask ourselves and our community, what has caused people to feel so desperate, that they have resorted to terrorism? why has destroying themselves and the people around them become their only platform to speak out? ever since the world trade center in new york city was blown up in 2001, people have been asking why? when they should be asking, how come?
i also feel that if we really want to create a world where this type of terrorist action does not exist, we must change our attitudes from reactive to more proactive. ask yourself, what can you do to create a healthier world around you? or what have you done to create this unhealthy world we live in, and how can we change it for the better? let's face it, it is a very difficult and challenging prospect to address, and more convenient to ignore as long as it happens to someone else. but when that bomb blows up in your face, who is going to object then? you'll be dead, and your time to speak out and make a change will be over.

in less than two weeks, i will start back to work full time. it has been nearly a year and a half since i have had full time work. it is nearly a year and a half since i was diagnosed with cancer, then had to suffer through the chemo-therapy treatment in order to survive. it was hell, but certainly much better than the alternative. i mean, i am still here to tell the tale and that makes it all worthwhile. even today, i am not 100% recovered. however, i am getting there. i don't think there is a finite destination in recovery, it is a continual work in progress. so i have many marks along the way in order to note my progress, my victories, and my successes. going back to work is a major one. i have had a few part time jobs the last 5 months, in order to make a few dollars so i can contribute to paying the stack of bills that always seems to be in the corner. full time work, is a big deal for me, and a full time pay check makes it all the sweeter. the job? i am going back to lifeguarding on the beaches of australia. specifically to be the beach inspector and collaroy, or club roy. i have worked this beach in the past, so i am feeling quietly confident and comfortable with the posting to that beach. i don't want to say i will be on easy street, but i know it will be a good starting point. some people may consider me lifeguarding once again, as me being fully fit and healthy. i am fit enough to have successfully passed the physical requirements for the job. but i know, that i am not top shape. i also know that i will get there. for now, i am just enjoying where i am. i have only a few more days to relax and enjoy the time off, then it is back to the grind. even that won't seem as dreadful as it did maybe 2 years ago.

this is to be my 50th posting on this blog site. i am impressed with my own feat. i was so nervous when posting the first blog entry a few months ago (you can read it if you like) and now here i am at 50. it is a small but notable milestone for me. so this entry will stand alone. in commemoration of this special event.

currently as i sit here typing, it is raining outside. it is 5:30 in the afternoon and the huge drops of water falling from the sky are lit up in the sunlight. you can look up into the sky and watch the rain drops hurtling towards the earth from way up high. it is such a mesmerizing occurance, and something that i rarely take the time to look at. when it rains i am usually trying to avoid it, if i am outside. it is a pleasant feeling to be so enthralled by the simplest acts of nature.

financial planning. it is all so unknown and scary for me. i feel so lost and on the edge of this great big mystery. won't someone please give me a million dollars, so i can don't have to work so hard and i can have more time for play. then again, it is not like a million dollars does much for you these days. it is crazy money. i know i will be working for a long time to come. so i may as well get used to the idea. skate or die.

i was at my mates house this afternoon. we were hanging out for a while, at first over a game of chess. which to begin with was a great game. we had both made about 15 moves before either of us made a move. it was getting heavy until it enevitably got rough and pieces started to rapidly disappear. fortunately for me, i came out on top. really, the game took too much out of us both. we only played one. after a short stroll to the shops for a coffee and a look at the ocean (no waves on a cold windy day) we went back to his house, and turned on the sega/nintendo/xbox thing and played a boxing game. it got down right ugly as we slugged and punch each other on the screen. when his housemate turned up, the game turned into a round-robin free for all. all three of us getting more and more excited, we were laughing so hard at one another. well by the end of it, my thumb was killing me, and still is. both hurt actually. i pressed those buttons way too hard. i know, it is what i deserve. i should have been running around outside, or playing chess, or anything more stimulating than a computer game, but we had fun. truly, that was the point.

a big hello and sorry to the reading public of this blog site. i have been away from the computer the last week and a half and not written a single entry into this site. actually, i was away for the first 5 days, and then haven't felt like writing at all since (even this is a struggle). i guess i was having withdrawals from not writing for the first few days, then the last few i was fine about it. however, my conscience has gotten the better of me and prompted me to get off my lazy ass and type. obviously i am still struggling to come up with something creative, but this is hopefully better than naught.
i must forewarn everyone as well, i am going to start full time work in about 3 weeks. so i may be less frequent about entries onto this site, or maybe not. but my free time will not be as abundant in the months to come. i am excited to begin work again. it is another step in my recovery process and the idea of having a full time paycheck once more, is a very cool thing. we have been very frugal the last year and a half with our funds. it will be no time go on a spending spree, but it would be nice to get a few things that i have been dreaming of, mainly new music.
the job? well i am going back to my office on the beach. i figure the money, lifestyle, location, and opportunity to exercise are too good to pass up. so if you want to find me, i will be on the beach. until then, tune in tomorrow for the next update.