The Word B

yesterday was john howard's 65th birthday.  john howard is the little lying midget prime minister of australia at the moment.  this is an election year in australia, too.  it would be wonderful to have a change in regimes here as well as in the usa and britain.  the three major countries involved with terrorism throughout the world.  so in honor of little johnny's b-day i am making public two poems i wrote a while back.
John Howard pt 1
john howard is an imp
john howard is a gimp
john howard is a wimp
john howard is a pimp-le

 
John Howard pt 2  
john howard is a bush ass licker
john howard is a refugee kicker
john howard could your eyebrows be much thicker

i don't understand the problem with burning c.d.'s  does anybody remember cassette tapes?  there was never a problem with people making a copy of music with a tape.  so why all the fuss about burning a c.d.?  don't the record companies make enough money as it is?  when you go to the music store next time to buy a brand new c.d. in Australia it costs about $29.99.  consider that it has cost the manufacturer a few dollars to create, package, ship, and sell, as well as production costs and copy right for the artist.  into whose pocket does all this money go?  it simply does not add up. 
i do not have a problem burning a c.d.  i copied many tapes as a kid, which enhanced my music appreciation and knowledge, prompting my quest for more.  most likely encouraging me to buy more music as i have gotten older.  nobody ever told me then that making tapes was wrong, bad, or illegal.  i am not making money from copying a c.d.  i don't turn around and sell anything.  so why the big deal?  i think people are just greedy.  they want my money.  you may consider me acting greedy by copying the music and not paying for it at the store.  this i acknowledge, yet know i would buy the music if i wasn't being ripped off for it.  $30 dollars for c.d.!   it is not right.  thus i burn. 

this idea was put into my brain the other day, and i can't seem to get my head around it.  maybe you can think about it too.  we were watching this documentary on t.v. the other night.  it was a documentary on george bush jr, there was a statement made during the program by one of the political analysts being interviewed.  in reference to the american policy and rationale for being involved in war and fighting in the middle east, he said, "america's view of isreal is like the 51st state of the united states."

this year more than ever i have been following the tour de france.  specifically, to cheer for lance armstrong.  i find him to be inspirational.  not only as an athlete, but as a cancer survivor.  he and i had the same type of cancer, and his story is in a way similar to mine.  although his cancer was much more severe and i did not have to have brain surgery, we have both survived.  there are hundreds of cancer survivors running around this world, and we all share this is common.  we are all siblings in this common fight against cancer.  so i am following the race as closely as i can, here in australia.  we do not have cable t.v.  so our viewing is limited.  but i am keeping up with events and wanting to see lance armstrong win his 6th straight title.  no one has ever won 6 tours. 
this time last year i was too sick from chemotherapy to be at all concerned with the race.  i was too focused with my own life and my own fight to live.  now i am healthy and healing.  lance armstrong is an attestment to the world.  people can survive cancer and live on to conquer the world, or at least the alps on a bike. 

man
it seems like a million years
since we last spoke
five weeks
for me
did not go fast
you said
it was  like yesterday
so
how quickly
does time pass

i have arrived at the library with every intention of doing work.  alas, i am here and doing anything and everything in my ability to avoid the actual task at hand.  why do i procrastinate doing the things i must get done?  i know i am not the only person who does this.  my brother is a famous procrastinator.  he was telling me once that he had an assignment for a university class, to write a speech.  he said, he did not begin to compose it until he was actually walking to class on the day he was to deliver the speech.  maybe this act of putting things off runs in the family?  probably just another excuse.  so i know i must get to work, right now.  seize the day.  that sort of thing.  someone is here to use this library computer anyhow, thus forcing me to act. 

this is a quote from a friend of mine the other day in response to this blog site, and my recent political criticisms- "A wonderful and sophisticated gentleman once said that he had more class than to air his dirty political laundry."
i may have agreed with this statement at one time in the past, but in recent times my view has changed.  first, having cancer made me realize that life is way too short, so if you want to make things happen, then you must stand up and make them happen today.  if you want to take a back seat, fine, but don't be upset when things are not going your way. 
second, the way world politics are working at the moment, if the people of the world do not stand up and speak their minds, then we are going to be in serious trouble.  we cannot stand aside and allow our lives and the world around us be dictated by a few individuals who only have their own agendas and greed in mind when they establish policy.
third, george w bush jr.  the guy is an idiot and a thief and should not be in charge of anything other than his own bowels.  it was pointed out to me today (and not for the first time) that he only got his passport after he was elected president of america.  think about that for a moment.  he had never been beyond his own country's borders, and yet he can manage the most influencing and powerful nation on the planet, dictating world events, world politics, world economies, world environmental issues, and ethics (which he seems to have little to none of). 
so if this guy can create policy that affects the world, then i can at least voice my outrage at being subjected to it.  i am seriously pissed off.
i am an american.  true, i do not live inside of the borders of the USA any more, but i am proud to originate from america, despite its problems and past.  i do firmly believe that it is a place with unlimited potential and unlimited possibilities.   however, i am disgusted at the way the american political agenda over the past 3 1/2 years has been deployed domestically and internationally.  it is a disgrace.  in a country that is supposed to stand for freedom, i have watched civil liberties been erased.  this is a crime.   i have watched americans wage war on two countries (officially) over this time- Afghanistan and Iraq.  this in response to terrorist attacks that america instigated in the first place.  let's be honest here, america has been putting their fingers into a lot of international affairs over the last 60 years (and that is conservative).  for example, and in no particular order- Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, Israel, Somalia, Philippines, Japan, Korea, Taiwan, Indonesia, Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Yemen, Kuwait, Yugoslavia, Greneda, Cuba, Panama, Nicaragua, El Salvador, Honduras, Guatemala, Venezuela, Argentina, Columbia, Chile, this is to name a few off the top of my head, i know the list could go further.  for all this meddling in foreign countries, it is only rational to expect, there would be an abundance of outrage, frustration, and hatred in response.  so who started what?  who is to blame, really?
i am not promoting fighting, nor war.  i feel that there could be better solutions to all of the worlds problems through intellectual discussions and communication.   thus, i am writing my opinion.  if some want to refer to it as political laundry, that is fine with me.  but i have traveled to many countries, and i have always made friends in every place i have been privileged to go.  i know that it is very easy to make peace and even establish friendships with people of every race and religion, throughout the world.  if i can do it, then certainly so can others.  it really is that simple.     

the last few days i have been having this unsatiable craving for beer. i tried to ignore it at first. that didn't work. i tried to trick the urge through exercise. that only made me more thirsty. so after three days i broke down and found myself at the bottle shop, starring through the glass refridgerator door. all those choices of beer, i was forced to contemplate. i settled on a long neck of toohey's old. it didn't take me long to finish the whole bottle, but afterwards i was completely satisfied.
today, i have this huge craving for mexican food. i don't know how i am going to fix this one.

i heard that america is spending something like 100 billion dollars on this war in iraq. 100 billion dollars! i don't think i could count that high.
how many schools does 100 billion dollars buy? how many people could be educated in schools for 100 billion dollars? how many hospitals could be built with 100 billion dollars? how many people could be fed with 100 billion dollars? how many vaccines could be produced with 100 billion dollars? how many roads could be created with 100 billion dollars?
100 billion dollars. that is the number that i heard america is spending on this war. there are other countries involved too. how much money are they spending? how many books could they buy with those dollars?
in the minds of those in charge, it must make more economical sense to kill people instead. it seems pretty silly to me.

does anybody ever read this? please comment if you are receiving. it is a little lonely out in this arena.

i ask you, have you had enough yet? this war. it is making me sick to see us, the people of the world, manipulated. we are being led into a conflict that we do not want, nor have ever wanted. we have been deceived time and time again. and still it continues to go on. all of it total bullshit. the lies that we the people around the world are being served and forced to swallow, are all totally absurd. yet, they keep being served, and people keep swallowing them. it is all poison, and without question we still swallow it, knowing that it is wrong for our health.
this current "war" in iraq, is the same war that the dominant regimes of the world have been fighting since 1939. it is a war of the rich against the poor. politicians are like puppets, standing in front of microphones, telling us so many twisted lies they end up sounding almost believable. have you had enough yet?
it is a funny thing, to travel and see the world. before you set off, a person has alot of preconceived notions of what the world is like. but once the adventure begins, it does not take long to discover that people, no matter the country, culture, location, traditions, or languages spoken, they are just people. we are all such simple human beings, born naked into this world. we then grow up and think we know something about our lives and then just as quickly- we die. this is the same for every person, rich or poor. it is the same for every person throughout time. so why do we fight? why do we war? they die, we die. to just live is enough of a struggle.
i am tired of the "news" and it's death counts, murder features, polls that are made up to trick people into believing there are other people out there buying into the crap. have you had enough yet?
people are killing people. there are people being shot at. there are people, right now, running for cover from a bomb that is dropping on them. there are people dying, for no good reason. and the reason, it would make you sick when you consider the truth. people are dying, so that other people can live their short lives more comfortably- drive a larger car, own a bigger home, shop at a closer supermarket, buy the latest clothes, CD, a flat screen TV, cheaper fuel, etc. so consider yourself. where do yo fit in this equation? you are part of the equation after all. you are on alive (for now) on earth. there is no other alternative planet to live on. how do you fit in this equation? are you comfortable with the murder of children? have you had enough yet? this war, it needs to stop. it needs to stop now!
so what are you going to do about it?

i could talk about the weather, but that would be silly. i could tell you about my day, but that would be boring. i could sit here and type nothing, but that would be dull. so why do i sit here at all, log on, and type? it is quickly becoming an addictive habit. it is something that is fulfilling this self-expressive need that i find rising up within myself. everytime i tap into it, i get this small sense of satisfaction. afterwards, i encounter a niggling pain, a greater desire for more. to stand up and scream, to be heard, to be seen, to be known. this is most definitely an addiction. this desire to create, and to share with the world. the desire to express me, in all my fanciful and not so fanciful forms. to become a public display of art, vulgarity, idea, passion, life, nothing, and everything. at times i feel like a mural and others a song or dance. however, it is difficult to translate this passion through words, but words are my medium. words are what i do. i try to draw, paint, play music, sing, but they do not compare to the power i feel from immersing myself in words. and so i sit here and type. i type for you and everyone and no one and only myself. i type for no other reason than i must. so i just keep doing it.
this is so much like life, we all just continually do things over and over again never thinking of why, we just live and do without reason, until we die. we know it feels good, so we just keep on doing it.

i learned to play chess about 10 years back. ever since, i have been addicted to the game. every time i play chess, i discover something new about the intricacies of the pieces, moves, their interactions, everything. it is a game that i love to play. over the last year, while in and out of hospital, i played a lot of chess. mostly with only a few mates. not everyone is interested in playing the game, something that i cannot fathom why. most people don't play because they don't know the rules, but once you do know the rules, the games is simple...yet so complex.
what really got me interested and hooked on playing was, not long after i learned, i came home and asked my little brother if he knew how to play. shit, can that guy play. he whooped me nearly everytime for years. it was frustrating to get beat by my brother all the time. so i kept playing hoping he would slip up, yet, learning the game for myself.
i finally got my revenge about six months ago when i last saw him. we had planned on playing chess, it has become a habit when we see one another. this time, however, i was the one to suprise him. i had been playing so much over the last year that i was planning my game 4 and 5 moves ahead. the look on his face was one of shock. but i knew that he was also pleased with the challenge of the competition.
since, i have found others to play and enjoy the game when the opportunity presents itself to play. i am not bragging of my skills, because i know they are limited. there are some real chess geniuses out there. about 2 months ago, i found myself in the city on a frequent basis, and i would wander down to hyde park around lunch time to watch the old men play chess on the giant chess board in the park. it is a board made up of large tiles in the grounds with huge life size pieces. i would be pleasantly entertained for ages while watching these old men, most of them drunk, play one another while getting into the regular argument mid-way through the game. it is a fantastic spectacle to watch.
today, i am just having this strong desire to play a game of chess, but can't find anyone to play with. so that is my reason for writing this. maybe tomorrow i will have a game.

why is it that i have every intention to write something of significance when i sit down to type, yet, when the time comes my mind goes numb? i really haven't got much to say today. so why do i bother writing on? good question. why are you still reading this? even better question. we all have our problems. today mine seems to be writers block. i think i will quit and go read a book. maybe i will think up something to write about.

happy independence day america. you may want to think about a new revolution, because the idiot regime that is running the show these days is a bit of a contrast to what american ideology stands for. it is hard to live in "freedom" and pursue a life of liberty and happiness, when there is a fascist dictator in charge.

i woke up this morning feeling slightly unwell. i know it was from the intake of alcohol my body took on last night. it started out at dinner with a shared bottle of red wine. then it was a few shots of tequila before we left the house. followed by a short stroll to the pub, where we had several beers and second hand cigarette smoke. time passed. we walked home and crawled into bed. i passed out. woke this morning to a throbbing head ache and a quesy tummy. but i am not complaining about it for one second. i know from personal experience that chemo-therapy drugs fuck a person up way harder than any amount of alcohol. it is wonderful to be alive. because the alternative isn't much fun.

well this year has already started out interesting, we are just over half way though it. however, it the the last half of the year that has got me all emotionaly mixed up. there is the big election in the USA and one in Australia. i am so scared that the idiot incumbents will be re-elected in both countries, yet i am hopeful and optomistic that they will both lose. however, i feel that if we don't speak up and start making changes, all the crap that seems to be persisting at an all time record rate, will get the planet and its inhabitants in even bigger trouble. so i am voicing my opinion and hopefully people are listening. we need to make some changes. we need to do it ourselves. we need to do it right now!
i know that i could go on about this topic all day and night, and really my point can be argued for and against. however, these idiots that we got running the show at the moment are all baffoons and baboons. surely, there are much more intelligent and clever people out there who could at least have the interest of the worlds people in mind rather than lining their own pockets and coffers. without pointing too many fingers, because i don't have that many digits (toes included), i am asking people from around the world to take some responsibility for your own immediate environment, and let's make this place work properly. this is the only planet we got. as humans, we sure do an excellent job screwing it up.
so if other people can get involved in this whole political circus, so too can i. i am throwing my hat in the ring and i am speaking my voice. what are you doing?

bush bashing bush bashing
poor little cry-baby w.
he takes such a trashing

i had a thought the other day while walking along bush bashing
causing me to stumble and into the bush and brambles i went crashing
the spoiled little rich kid
thinks he's the A number 1 man of the human race
when every last man woman and child on the planet knows he's a disgrace
the deluded the simple the dumb little georgie the oil tycoon
always in big daddy's shadow it's no wonder the gloom

bush bashing bush bashing
pathetic little cry baby w.
he takes such a trashing

he had to cheat lie and swindle
to get his way in the door and into that special seat
his whole aim in life his only desire:
to have his finger on the button because he thinks "it would be neat!"
he's clear cut all the forests and starved all the children
while plotting and scheming
jr's got big plans for us all
he really was dreaming
just as things were running as planned
someone spoiled the party and all his fun
but rather than act like a grown-up
to step outside and discuss all matters under the sun
little georgie-porgy
spit the dummy and started to war on everyone

bush bashing bush bashing
poor little illiterate w.
he takes such a trashing

bush bashing bush bashing
all those bombs on Afghanistan and Iraq falling from planes in the sky
onto people they are crashing
w thinks he's got the world
fooled blinded confused scared and hood-winked
but i for one am not afraid to stand up and call it like it is
george w bush jr
you are forever a lying cheating yellow ignorant rat fink

bush bashing bush bashing
forever bush bashing
someday it will end and george will get his lashing
that thought is what caused me to trip stumble and fall
through the bush and into the water splashing