The Word B

i have now begun the task of officially giving hotmail the flick. it is totally fucked. i can't get into my hotmail account, so after 10 days of frustration, and still no progress, i have this morning begun to yahoo. now, i just have to get used to the new system, and i will be up and running once more. yahoo.

mother nature has lashed out. the tsunami waves that have hit the coastal countries around the indian ocean is unbelievable. i have been walking around in total shock the last few days, after hearing this news. initially, the situation looks horrendous. however, as time passes i believe that it will become much worse. there are millions of people left stranded, injured, homeless, and living with the loss of loved ones. the real situation to avoid is the aftermath of this terrible incident. there will be many more thousands of people who have survived the onslaught of the ocean, die, due to disease and starvation.
after seeing the footage on the television of all the destruction i am dumb struck. however, as people living on the same planet, we must reach out and help those who have been affected by this disaster. this is not a time to sit idle and watch the suffering of other human beings. this is the time for action and assistance, especially by those who are more capable of giving support.
i know that this tsunami was caused by a shift of the earths plates. specifically, the subduction of one plate below the other. it is not an uncommon occurance in the planets history of plate techtonics. however, do you think that this instance may have any possible relation to "global warming" and should be a wake up call to the world? could an unfortunate disaster like this be used as a turning point for the world, specifically industrialized nations? will the usa and australia finally sign the kyoto protocol? mother nature has displayed only a small portion of what she is capable of. it is high time that humans took the time and effort to give nature the respect that it deserves. next time the wake up call may not be an unexpected slap in the face. it could be sucker punch to the gut.

yesterday was boxing day here in australia. the single biggest drinking day of the year. despite the many christmas parties in the lead up to christmas, the official big drinking day of the year is boxing day. what did i do? i worked on the beach from 9-6. then i came home and had a few beers with my wife and a friend of ours who came over for dinner. we went for a walk in the evening and all throughout the neighborhood you could hear the voices and music from the many gatherings and get togethers people were hosting. there was a very festive mood in the air. or else it was the alcohol talking. either way, it was an enjoyable night. overall, uneventful for me, but the joint we shared made it all perfect. after that we saw don king in the clouds with a 3,000 mile long hair-do. by this time it was the weed talking. laughs all around. i guess you had to be there.

is anyone else experiencing the problem of not being able to access their hotmail account? i have not been able to log onto the hotmail website for nearly 6 days now. i am wondering if it is just me, or are others facing the same situation? what is going on here?
i have no other way of email communication with others in the world of email other than this blog site. hooray for blogger!

my intentions are not to piss people off, but this may upset a few people. tomorrow is christmas day. it will be my 5th christmas in sydney, australia. i have lived in sydney for nearly 5 1/2 years, and i find this city to be bulging with wankers. people here are rude, arrogant, unfriendly, and self centered. this is a generalization, but fairly accurate. it is an attitude i have had to put up with since living here. i have found other australians from else where in the country to be much more friendly, open, honest, respectable, and hospitible. again this is another generalizition. i have been to most of the major cities of australia and found people in those places to be much nicer on a whole, especially those of melbourne and perth who stand out in particular. with tomorrow being christmas, it is the one day of the year, that i actually witness some of the wankers living in this town, to come out of their self supreme shells and act friendly. all in the name of christmas? maybe. but it amazes me, that these same people who are truly such assholes for 364 other days of the year, can actually be considerate of other human beings. it confuses me. why? because there is such a stark contrast in their behavior. i would like to see the more humanitarian side of these people and embrace that. however, i am not convinced because the majority of days throughout the year their actions speak volumes.
then when the evening news comes on the television, i am reminded that this country and its people are not very nice at all (in view of the national and international politics). here is australia, "a god fearing christian country" partaking in the killing of people throughout the world, openly stealing from its nearest international neighbor (east timor), jailing families that are seeking political assylum, discussing "pre-emtive strikes" in their own part of the world, among many other things. to me, this is the true underlying christmas spirit that surrounds me in this country. all the hoopla that goes on tomorrow on the 25th of december, i think, is a poor way to cover up all the nastiness that lies at the heart of this country. truly, for a christian country, australia holds true to form of being good christians.

"My president is the worst national leader a country could have at the moment."
"Yeah, he's bad. Although i think my prime minister is worse than your president."
"No way. My president is much worse."
"Maybe. But my prime minister licks the ass of your president."
>pause<
"Well, you do have a point there."

Last Friday morning, on my last wave into the beach, I came off my board and the leash caught on the band of my watch, breaking the band. I lost my watch in the surf. I was underwater, I felt exactly what happened. My heart stopped and I struggled down towards the bottom of the water in a vain grasp at the watch. It was dark, sandy and water moving everywhere. The watch disappeared. I came up for breath, and went down immediately for another search. Nothing. I already knew it was useless, but I kept diving down anyhow, with my board and leash still attached to my ankle. I kept grabbing at sand. There was too much current and I knew I had also moved form the original spot. The water was only chest deep, but too strong. I paddled out of the water and when I got to the beach I cried. This was my only watch, the watch that Cherry gave to me as an engagement gift. It was the perfect watch for me because it kept the two times of Australia and California. Gone!
I went to work feeling gutted. A work several weeks ago there was a guy who came around leaving business cards. His job was doing underwater searches for lost items. When he first came around, I didn’t think much of it, but I went to work and pulled out his business card. I dialed the number and explained the situation. He asked about the tides, and location of where it was, we discussed the surf other factors. His offer was for an hour and a half search with all the gear and metal detector for $70. If he found the watch it would be another $30 finder’s fee. I told him go for it. I had to take a punt. Punt is an Australian term for gamble. I met the guy at the other beach on my lunch break. We both swam out to where I thought was the place. He set up weights and lines to make a grid and went to work. I had to go back to work so I left him. I should mention that the area where I suspected it to be was now in the vicinity of the break zone, due to the higher tide. I got a call at work at 3pm. He didn’t find the watch. He proposed to do another search in a few hours time for no extra charge. I met him there after work at 6. Once again we both swam out to the general area. The water was really swirling around, but much more shallow. He was in a thick wet suit, and I only in a thin rashy. Once again we were looking, around. He had all the gear and I only had my swim goggles, but we went for it. Eventually, I got too cold and went in. I was still feeling devastated by the loss, but resigned to the fact. At home, I was meant to BBQ for Cherry and sister Holly and her two boys. Coming home, they saw my face and knew the out come was negative. So I went to work lighting the fire and cooking. As this was going on Cherry came running outside with the news. The guy had found the watch! I can’t even begin to describe the elation I had, but it was huge. He drove over and dropped it off at our house within 15 minutes, and ended up having dinner with us. The guy is a total character. But totally worth the effort. I am most grateful. His web site is http://www.foundit.com.au So if you ever lose anything in the surf, sea, or land (in Australia) give the guy a ring.

well i just wrote this blog and then i lost it all! fuck! it makes me so mad when shit like that happens on computers. when you simply just lose your work. instantly and irrevocably lost forever. no there is no "going back" or some magic trick to get it back. and to write things verbatim is not going to happen.
the blog was about the big day i had yesterday. 3 parties and too much of a good time.
first, lunch with friends at their new house, in bay view.
second, picking up the rocking chair i bought cherry for christmas, in terry hills. (yes, we already know my views on christmas)
third, back across town to a barbeque with other friends, in petersham.
fourth, drive back over the harbour to cheltenham. it was the last party, a family gathering with all my wifes siblings and their friends. basically, a late night cocktail and dance party that ended at 2:30am and climaxed with wrestling on the grass. i woke up feeling slightly seedy this morning, but managed to cook pancakes for everyone, before retiring to the rocking chair outside to sip beers, pass a joint, and hang out and talk with friends. it was a very good night.
back to work tomorrow.
that is a brief synopsis of what i just wrote, before i lost everything, and rewrote this.

howard howard howard
what rhymes with howard
it's such a dirty word
i think i need a shower
john, you two faced lying rat
too ashamed to speak the truth
john, you truly are a coward
the people will have their justice
one day when you're six feet under
and all the roses flowered

yesterday, at work there was a school group that came down to the beach for their highschool sports carnival on the beach. about 400 kids strong, the group dominated the beach and the water. it wasn't the best day for beach weather, so really it didn't interfere with much else. just the screaming kids gave me a headache.
however, at one point, someone came up to me and said there was a boy they had put into the first aid room to lie down because he was not feeling well. i walked in to check him out. upon entering the room, i took one look at this kid and my first thought was- heart attack. i am serious. he was lying there on this bed completely pale and sweaty, short of breath, complaining of pain in his chest when i asked him to breathe deeply. upon further examination i was even more convinced of my diagnosis, but was unable to investigate it any further, because i did not have the tools to do so. so i called an ambulance to the beach. the paramedic, when he arrived took one look at this kid, and i know his reaction was the same as mine- possible heart attack. so the kid was treated as a cardiac patient, canulated, given aspirin, hooked up to the heart monitor and transported to the hospital. i do not yet know the outcome. i would not be surprised if it was something to do with his heart. it is crazy to think that is the case for a 17 year old boy. then again, i am always thinking of len bias, who died on the basketball court from a cardiac arrest, and he was in much better shape than this kid yesterday. so you never know.
oddly enough, not more than five seconds after packing up and transporting the kid in the ambulance, i was called down to the beach on the sand where another boy was crash tackled from behind, suffering from a very sore head, neck, and spine. once again another ambulance was called, and this boy was treated and transported to hospital for a possible spinal injury. my opinion, is he will be fine, but better to be overly cautious than not.
who ever said lifeguarding at collaroy beach was boring?

just call me mister scrooge. i don't like christmas. really, if the world decided to skip the holiday for a year, i would never miss it. i know i will piss off some people by writing about this, but you know what? live with it. i got to live with the fact that this "holiday" comes once a year, and is in my face from the 1st of november, everywhere i go. so you can handle my dissatisfaction.
i find christmas to be totally 100% hypocritical to the point that it is absurd. people are celebrating what exactly? some fat man in a red suit or some rich kid in a barn? he was rich from day one, according to the story, if you want to believe that. someone brought him gold.
one point of frustration, and this is directed towards christians, because it is that group that is pushing all the nonesense of the holiday in everyones face. first, why does a city spend a million dollars on a christmas tree when there are homeless people, going hungry on the streets of that same city? could that money be better spent on a housing project for homeless? maybe it could buy alot of food, so people were not hungry? think about that when you are scraping your unwanted mashed potatoes into the garbage can on christmas day.
second, why is there such talk of peace on earth, goodwill to man, and all that brotherly love crap, when there are countless episodes of aggression over a parking spot at the shopping mall, fist fights over the latest toy craze (remember cabbage patch kids or tickle-me-elmo?), and soldiers blowing the fuck out of children in iraq? just because some of those people in that country are not following the christain faith, doesn't give any person the right to kill them, especially under the veil of religion. let's call that exactly what it is- racism. has anybody read a history book in their lives? do you recall something called the crusades.
third, why do parents lie to their children? do you think that is going to raise or lower the respect children will have towards their parents, when they discover the truth? kids, there is no santa claus. there is no easter bunny, or tooth fairy either.
fourth, why does the commercial world have to push christmas in everyones face for 2 whole months leading up to the 25th of december? i don't ask for my favorite holiday to be advertised for that long prior to the event.
fifth, why do people fake sincerity? all this gift giving, and "i have to be nice, it's christmas" is so transparent. i do not mind giving people gifts, but why all this quiet yet expected obligation? if you feel like giving somebody a present great. you should not have this expectation for gift reciprocation, because it leads to disappointment, frustration, anger, jealousy, and worse.
these are only 5 short reasons off the top of my head. thanks for reading and have a happy new year.

i'm back from the hospital. it is only 9:37am. i have another CT scan, to keep an updated check on my lymph node. the one that was infected with cancer. the one that grew to about 10 times its normal size causing me incredible pain. the same lymph node that is now scar tissue and changing shape after chemo-therapy treatment.
my day begins in the evening, when i fast 10 hours before hand, in preparation of the test. i don't sleep very well, due to anticipation and anxiety. i woke up before the alarm went off. i laid in bed dreading to get up and go to the hospital. the trip was inevitable. before walking out of the house, i had to force down this liquid dye/contrast in preparation for the CT scan. the purpose of the dye is to highlight my intestinal tract. my oncologist tells me it is not necesarry because he is not concerned with the intestinal tract of my body. i have tried to tell the people in radiology this, but they refuse to listen. the stuff tastes foul, especially on an empty stomach. i nearly puke everytime. there is always two satchels to take on these mornings. usually about 15-30 minutes apart. then it is out the door, and driving to the hospital. cherry always drives me. i am always too distressed and preoccupied to drive myself. i am always so grateful.
i try to book these scans for first thing in the mornings. i have learned that the hospital typically backs up and if the scan is scheduled for later in the day, i am usually left waiting in the chair for long periods. so i try to book first thing, when the radiology department opens for business hours- 8am. so i was first in. i put on the hospital gown, and was then directed to the scan room, where i am placed on the slab and quickly canulated. the radiologists move out of the room to behind the protective glass and measure me up on the machine. when they are ready, i am injected with the iodine contrast, through the canulae. this contrast is to highlight my blood system, when the photos are made. the iodine, as it is injected, causes this very warm sensation to course through your body, filling you up from head to toe within about 4 seconds. the first time i had this was a unique experience for me. now, it is just another regular part of this whole process. immediately after the injection i am told to hold my breath and the slab moves back and forth through the CT scanning machine, which looks like a big doughnut with a red laser coming out of one little peephole. there is a small note near the laser that says "do not look into laser." i try to close my eyes during the process. i slide back and forth a few times, and it is over. the staff comes in, takes out the canulae and i dress and walk out of hospital. cherry, is waiting for me, and once we walk outside, i have a few pieces of fruit as we walk back to the car. then it is back home, and i spend the rest of the day taking it easy and napping.
this morning, i feel a bit better than times in the past. the hospital smells still put me off. however, i am coping with the whole process better these days, than i did a year ago.

it is official. the house is ours. last night we went to celebrate, by having a few glasses of champagne on the front lawn of the new place. we can't enter the house, so hanging outside was the next best thing. we don't move into it, until about the 26th of january. so no touching until then. yesterday, we explored the gardens discovering all the wonderful plants and trees that are already established. so many that we love are already there. and there is plenty of space to do more and manipulate it the way we want. as we laid on the grass drinking champgne, we looked at the house and speculated on what we could do with it. there are certainly changes that we would like to make. cherry, being an interior designer, has some pretty big ideas. alot will take some time and money to organize. it will be a work in progress. we are anxious to get our hands into it.

it was great. just thought i would let you know how the feasting went. the bird cooked beautifully. we stuffed ourselves grandly, talked ourselves silly, and no had nothing but good fun with the friends that came to share the occasion.
i received an email from my brother in ireland, who hosted a feast for his mates. he had a blast.
i spoke to my sister, who was in new york with her boyfriend and other family (from california, just happening to be in the big apple at the same time), and they all had a grand time.
see how wonderful the holiday can be. three people in my family, all over the world, celebrating thanksgiving, and we all had unreal experiences of joy and laughter. just imagine, if we were all in the same place for thanksgiving, the tremendously huge family fight that would ensue, which seems to be turkey day tradition throughout all families in america.
now we have the rest of the year to look forward to two things; that new years day hang over, and halloween. avoiding christmas, valentines day, and easter bullshit will be tricky, but i will manage. however, there are plenty other non-holiday days of the year to enjoy.

i was going to complain about the spell checker on my blogger entry as it doesn't seem to be working with the program on my computer any longer. but now that i have stated it, enough said. more should be spoken on the idiot writing these words and why he can't edit it himself and quit being a lazy puss.
i have the day off from work. no beach and no labour. it is way too hot today for either of those. this is one of the hottest days i have experienced since i have lived in sydney. it is actually safer to be indoors in the shade for most of the day, while the sun is out. the sunshine is too intense. the radiation is much stronger here nearer to that whole in the ozone layer over antarctica, than it is in the northern hemisphere. don't believe it? then come for a visit and find out.
i did however go for a lengthy swim earlier this morning and the water was perfect. not too warm and just cool enough.

in life we have some very major milestones to pass through on our way to becoming old people. these are mostly markers that are dictated by society and the cultures we live in. for instance, birth is one that all people share, along with the last one achievable- death. but there are many more in between. loosing your first tooth, going to school for the first time, high school graduation, and then to college are all major milestones in life. others are graduation from college, getting married, finding jobs etc.
yesterday, we passed another marker on our journey through life. my wife cherry and i bought our first home. i know that alot of people may or may not think it is a big deal, and really in the whole realm of things, it isn't. still it is a remarkable task and another one of those actions that is sort of a rite of passage in society. today we wait to hear the final confirmation, we are 99% there. then we can celebrate. then we will become concerned and realize that life will never be the same once we have taken on a huge mortgage. but then who cares about the numbers? they are only minor details. i am alive and healthy, and that is certainly the most important part. however, it is a feeling of accomplishment and uncertainty that is am experiencing today. although i am moving forward with a feeling of confidence and anticipation.
one thing for sure is, that i am glad to not be in the house hunting market anymore. dealing with real estate agents is a very unrewarding experience. they are for the most part liars and rats. even though there are a few decent ones out there, i am now from experience, very wary with them all.
the final word will come today. if all is good, then we have 2 months before we move in. the journey continues.