The Word B

i'm back from the hospital. it is only 9:37am. i have another CT scan, to keep an updated check on my lymph node. the one that was infected with cancer. the one that grew to about 10 times its normal size causing me incredible pain. the same lymph node that is now scar tissue and changing shape after chemo-therapy treatment.
my day begins in the evening, when i fast 10 hours before hand, in preparation of the test. i don't sleep very well, due to anticipation and anxiety. i woke up before the alarm went off. i laid in bed dreading to get up and go to the hospital. the trip was inevitable. before walking out of the house, i had to force down this liquid dye/contrast in preparation for the CT scan. the purpose of the dye is to highlight my intestinal tract. my oncologist tells me it is not necesarry because he is not concerned with the intestinal tract of my body. i have tried to tell the people in radiology this, but they refuse to listen. the stuff tastes foul, especially on an empty stomach. i nearly puke everytime. there is always two satchels to take on these mornings. usually about 15-30 minutes apart. then it is out the door, and driving to the hospital. cherry always drives me. i am always too distressed and preoccupied to drive myself. i am always so grateful.
i try to book these scans for first thing in the mornings. i have learned that the hospital typically backs up and if the scan is scheduled for later in the day, i am usually left waiting in the chair for long periods. so i try to book first thing, when the radiology department opens for business hours- 8am. so i was first in. i put on the hospital gown, and was then directed to the scan room, where i am placed on the slab and quickly canulated. the radiologists move out of the room to behind the protective glass and measure me up on the machine. when they are ready, i am injected with the iodine contrast, through the canulae. this contrast is to highlight my blood system, when the photos are made. the iodine, as it is injected, causes this very warm sensation to course through your body, filling you up from head to toe within about 4 seconds. the first time i had this was a unique experience for me. now, it is just another regular part of this whole process. immediately after the injection i am told to hold my breath and the slab moves back and forth through the CT scanning machine, which looks like a big doughnut with a red laser coming out of one little peephole. there is a small note near the laser that says "do not look into laser." i try to close my eyes during the process. i slide back and forth a few times, and it is over. the staff comes in, takes out the canulae and i dress and walk out of hospital. cherry, is waiting for me, and once we walk outside, i have a few pieces of fruit as we walk back to the car. then it is back home, and i spend the rest of the day taking it easy and napping.
this morning, i feel a bit better than times in the past. the hospital smells still put me off. however, i am coping with the whole process better these days, than i did a year ago.