The Word B

i have been waiting over a year for this package to arrive in australia from the united states. well, i reality i had been waiting for it to be posted for over a year. the package was a selection of c.d.'s recorded by my friends and a short story. near the end my patience was wearing thin, however, i perservered. yesterday, i arrived finally.
in it was about 20 albums, of most siginificance was the Long Lost Lovers album, which brought back so many memories. presently, as i type we are listening to JayZ's grey album, which i amhearing for the very first time and loving. well today i phoned my friend senior cj beats to announce to him the package had arrived, and to thank him. now i am giving him another shout out. thanks chris!

"To answer your earlier question, I'm feeling pretty fucking good right now!" -cj beats

you know it is over when: your long distance girl friend begins to send you emails containing chain letters promoting, eternal greatness if you forwad it to every email contact you know, or forever damnation if you don't, rather than writing you a few quick lines about nothing at all, and finishing with an "i love you." that, is the beginning of the end. or is it already over?
it might as well be over if she has included you on her list of insignificant recipients of spam email. from the very instant you see the (fwd:) at the beginning of the heading your gut starts to drop out. scan reading the rest is all you have to do in order to confirm everything. everything is all wrong. you are no longer that special person. the truth is, you have been replaced. cancel your plans, and take back the ear rings. you won't be needing those anymore.
you might as well start passing along the chain letter because you certianly could use the luck.

picture this:
collaroy beach is typically not the best surf beach in the world. generally it is referred to as "kiddies corner." however, on big southerly swells, when the sea is 5+ meters, collaroy goes off! that creates the big draw of people to surf perhaps the only beach in sydney that will hold up in a big swell from the south. however, when the swell dies down, people still flock to surf the corner just off the rock pool at collaroy. why? yesterday afternoon, i counted 76 people in the water on surf boards, and there was only a 3 foot wave. nothing to write home about, but still there were about 72 more people than the conditions warranted. i am sure some of the other beaches were surfable and crowded as well. collaroy, well that is another story.

i woke up this morning to hear the news on the radio. america has gone crazy. it has stooped to an all time whacky level of existence. it is so weird, that i am even now having a hard time believing it, yet when i consider where it is coming from, i can't say that i am actually all that surprised. over the last few weeks there has been in the news, with growing interest, this issue of a woman by all technical and medical sense, dead. she has been "surviving" but only her body kept alive (by machines) for the last 15 years. her poor husband wants to take her off and allow her to die. her sick and twisted famiy want to keep her going in this vegetative state. there has been court battles over this between husband of dead woman vs. mom and dad of dead woman. the court said to take her off the support machines.
now the federal government has stepped in and gotten invovled. there is a special seating of congress over this exact case, i hear. and this morning that mental midget of a national leader and trouble busting coked up cowboy, bush jr has intervened and stated he demands the hospital to keep this dead woman alive. for fucks sake she is dead. where is the sense in all of this? the president of the united states of america, has no problems with dropping bombs and bullets on hundreds of thousands of people (who are/were alive) killing them. but when there is one dead woman, he is changing national laws, way beyond the absurd, to keep her alive. it is an oxymoron perpetuated by the biggest moron.
america. what has happened to you? i hear the right to lifers are celebrating this outcome. but you people are just as absurd. you all will die. it is a fact and there is not a single thing you can do about it. even the machines they have keeping this dead woman alive, will not be able to help you.
keeping a dead woman alive, doesn't make sense. does it? i open this up to debate.

well cancer couldn't stop it. neither could the chemotherapy or the conventional drugs at the hospital. the removal of my left testicle couldn't prevent it from occurring either. all those days and nights hanging over the toilet bowl puking my guts out while existing in this mental delirium could not stop it. i am healthy! and to prove this point my sperm are swimming strong and with a vengeance. to take it one step further, they are so strong that my wifes' own biological defenses couldn't prevent it either (well, one at least). one special little, talented, slippery, strong, determined, resilient, fast, wiggly, 23 chromosomed, beauty, of a sperm made it through all the above obsitcles, and hit the target. yes, she's pregnant, knocked up, duffed, with a little bun in the oven. this was huge news. bigger than ben hur, or will it be a ben him? who cares?
i have disproven the odds here. i have come back from the dead and succeded in performing my biological function for living- to pass on my genes. forget about the IVF, this one is all natural baby. although we haven't cancelled the bank account yet, it is looking like a good sign that it will be on the way out. so far we are only new in the game, but in the game nonetheless. 6 weeks into it.
how did it all go down? well about 2 weeks ago, cherry was late. we didn't give it much weight due to the fact that i am recently out of the chemo, 18 months. not long when you consider i was near death from repeated poisoning. the doctors couldn't and wouldn't give us a definitive answer about regaining my fertility, so we knew we were fighting the odds. well, to cut out middle bit, here we are. just call me daddy.
truly, it has all come as a huge shock, and totally unexpected. it is not the best time for this sort of news with house and mortgage and me returning to university. but then again, does this sort of thing ever come at an appropriate time? i have learned a few lessons from cancer and living through the chemotherapy, life is way too prescious. so we are taking this little bit of news and running. so what of the obstacles in the future whether they be financial, time, energy, or anything. we are going for it with a sense of pride and determination.
still there are the health factors to consider of mother and child and going the full term, etc. but so far so good. we have overcome so many hurdles thus far. it also means plain and simple, cherry is healthy, and i am healthy. this is my testament to life and a big fuck you to cancer. you didn't win. i won.

so in five minutes or less i will check in. i am at the university library killing time before class. got dropped off today early. went to the book store to buy books and was reminded once again of the rip off prices that i am confronted with. they pretty much have you over a barrell, so you have no choice in the matter. i got about five minutes before class starts for two hours, then an hourt break followed by a 3 hour lecture. my thursdays are all about this for now on. that is just the way it is. so far the schedule and the assignments don't appear to be too punishing, especially as i am only doing part time study. but combine with work, it is all a challenge.
alright, i don't want to be tardy, so i am out of here.