Wednesday, May 11, 2005
darth vader- misunderstood hero
the final installment of the star wars saga is out next week. i wish i could say i am totally excited about it. i am not. every release since the empire strikes back has been less and less anticipated, especially the latest two. perhaps the most exciting aspect of this new film is the ultimate conversion of anakin skywalker into darth vader, the most villainous and dastardly evil bad guy of all time. really what is not to love about the man in black?
i am not writing today to wax poetically about darth vader, though. my intentions are to put forth the real and true reasons for darth vader's cranky attitude. the answer to why this guy is so upset?... he misplaced his droids. plain and simple. there is no feeling of lost love, no remorse over a bastard son and daughter, no retribution towards obie-wan, he is just a hurt little boy, with missing droids. what droids you may be asking yourself? it was plainly obvious to me, in the early parts of episode 1, a very young annakin skywalker is building none other than the internationally famous C-3PO. as the story progresses, sure annakin has some hardships growing up without a father and losing his mother (and let me just state here for the record that the immaculate conception bullshit was never and will never be acceptable) as well as having that wanker obie-wan-kenobi as a teacher, but the real downfall was becoming seperated from his droids, C-3PO and R2-D2. that is the missing link in the whole saga, something that will (hopefully) finally be exposed as the truth in the final film of episode 3, where he loses them forever. that is why darth vader is conquering that poor galaxy far far away. he is searching for his missing droids as well as the fucking rebel rat who took them from him. darth vader has simply just been misunderstood all these years.
i, for one, think that darth vader could have used much better and efficient methods of finding his prescious droids, rather than sailing around space in the over sized death star destroying insignificant planets such as alderan. what darth vader should have done, was employ the greatest detective of all time to do the super sluething for him, colombo. if darth vader and colombo would have teamed up, there would be nothing safe in the galaxy. colombo could find the droids, no problem, and darth vader could, from a distance, squeezed the nuts off the rebel scum who took them in the first place. if colombo was on another case, the back up plan would most certainly have to be inspector gadget. however, i digress from my assertion. hiring colombo would be the way to go. that way we could have saved ourselves the agony of the last two star wars films, and what looks to be certain the agony of this soon to be released final one.
not that anyones thoughts, opinions, ideas, or arguments, are going to have an effect upon the film, because it is already in the can, and slotted for release next week. and besides, it all happened a long time ago. go darth go.
maybe when it is all over, we can set up a darth vader dating service?
i am not writing today to wax poetically about darth vader, though. my intentions are to put forth the real and true reasons for darth vader's cranky attitude. the answer to why this guy is so upset?... he misplaced his droids. plain and simple. there is no feeling of lost love, no remorse over a bastard son and daughter, no retribution towards obie-wan, he is just a hurt little boy, with missing droids. what droids you may be asking yourself? it was plainly obvious to me, in the early parts of episode 1, a very young annakin skywalker is building none other than the internationally famous C-3PO. as the story progresses, sure annakin has some hardships growing up without a father and losing his mother (and let me just state here for the record that the immaculate conception bullshit was never and will never be acceptable) as well as having that wanker obie-wan-kenobi as a teacher, but the real downfall was becoming seperated from his droids, C-3PO and R2-D2. that is the missing link in the whole saga, something that will (hopefully) finally be exposed as the truth in the final film of episode 3, where he loses them forever. that is why darth vader is conquering that poor galaxy far far away. he is searching for his missing droids as well as the fucking rebel rat who took them from him. darth vader has simply just been misunderstood all these years.
i, for one, think that darth vader could have used much better and efficient methods of finding his prescious droids, rather than sailing around space in the over sized death star destroying insignificant planets such as alderan. what darth vader should have done, was employ the greatest detective of all time to do the super sluething for him, colombo. if darth vader and colombo would have teamed up, there would be nothing safe in the galaxy. colombo could find the droids, no problem, and darth vader could, from a distance, squeezed the nuts off the rebel scum who took them in the first place. if colombo was on another case, the back up plan would most certainly have to be inspector gadget. however, i digress from my assertion. hiring colombo would be the way to go. that way we could have saved ourselves the agony of the last two star wars films, and what looks to be certain the agony of this soon to be released final one.
not that anyones thoughts, opinions, ideas, or arguments, are going to have an effect upon the film, because it is already in the can, and slotted for release next week. and besides, it all happened a long time ago. go darth go.
maybe when it is all over, we can set up a darth vader dating service?
