The Word B

i am a bit bleery eyed and battling a killer headache at the moment. actually this fight has been going on for the last 4 hours. i have been painting today, and despite the mask, the fumes got to me. i was really affected by it all. however, i must go back to it tomorrow. if i don't, who will? in the end the transformations that occur seem to make it all worthwhile. there is not much to tell otherwise. as of yesterday, i am now officially unemployed. so for now my job is painting, gardening, and general house maintenance until we hit the road on the weekend. then it is nothing but good times for 10 days. so for now, and the next few days i will accept the headache and just perservere.

so in keeping with the times
i put down the pen
and picked up the computer
i hunt and i peck around the keys
my style has never been cuter
i am so creative
in either poetry or prose or on the email
i have ideas to the left which are right
i even have my own website
on it you'll read:
my adventures, antics, poems
opinions and inspirational thought
total satisfaction
for the curiosity you sought
now, get it quick
get it here
before it is gone
lock and load
at http://wordb.blogspot.com

so the world has a new pope. how exciting! i can barely contain my joy. i feel like shouting hallelujah from the top of the tallest mountain. wow. these are such exciting times we live in. which got me to thinking- what really went on in that bird cage, inside the vatican, with all those cardinals? what qualifications are required to become the next pope? surely, all those cardinals are qualified. they have come so far in the world. so what singles one out above the rest? the theory i put forth is not mine alone, several top scientists agree. at the cardinal summit, a pope is chosen simply by the highest number of children that each pope candidate has personally sexually abused. this may be a sick thing to bring up, but let's be real here, the catholic church has about 1700 years of abuse and the death of hundreds of millions people to answer for. all of which was perpetrated in the name of god.
on a similar note, how many other people are sick of the air time this whole pope thing is getting? what about equal time for protestants, baptist, episcopalians, muslims, j-ho's, mormons, buddhists, hindus, or atheists?

this is a copy of the big news update i have sent out to friends and family. so i figured i would cover all bases and make it global news to. life is too short to keep so many secrets, and in the end of it all who gives a fuck? so read on and experience a little bit of my pain and anguish...
i am going to keep this some what short and to the point. as you know both cherry and i have been quite excited about the fact we were pregnant. well, bad news. we had a miscarraige the other day. we spent the last wednesday and thursday at doctor consultations, ultra-sound rooms, and hospitals. so for now, it is over. we are definitely sad and heartbroken over it all. the news was shocking at first and numbing straight away after, but we are dealing with it. there is not much we can do about this now, and there is absolutely nothing to regret. in the end, it just was not meant to be...
however, on the bright side- there is a future. we are both alive and healthy. most importantly, we know we can get pregnant (the all natural way). truly the last is the best thing we could have possibly taken away from this experience. so it has given us something to look forward to in the future.
i don't want anyone to become alarmed by this news. we are fine and moving ahead. our immediate plan is to take a well needed and somewhat deserved holiday up the coast. we plan to leave in a few days when work finishes up for me, and we are both fit to travel. we have been so grateful for all your support, congratulations, good vibes, love, encouragement, and positive energy. all of it was well received. thank you.

this made me laugh, and then it made me cry. little nikki webster, the little red headed girl that "flew" into the sydney 2000 olympics, is turning 18 next month. in celebration of her coming of age, nikki has posed in slinky lingerie, with the pictures to come out in a men's magazine. is this another desperate attempt, by this washed up child star, to become famous? in certain ways i pity this girl, who was used and abused by an olympic committee as a poster child for the 2000 games. then, riding on her fame, the entertainment industry collaborated with little nikki webster in recording a record album. this album was targeted at a very young audience. i think it was a flop, but cannot confirm that. earlier this year, nikki webster was featured on a third rate, crap, television show called "dancing with the stars." once again, her performance was a total disaster. she was voted off straight away. thus prompting this latest attempt to regain her moment in the spot light that faded instantly 5 years ago, as soon as juan antonio samurach (sp?) said "let the games begin." so once little nikki webster turns 18, she will become this world famous pin up girl adored by men all over the world... in her dreams. i for one, will not be buying the magazine issue.

lately the federal government has been doing some very incredibly offensive things to the public of australia, and the world. for instance, this whole stance on "we reserve the right to engage in pre-emptive military strikes" upon any other nation, within our region, and that sort of bullshit. as well as participating with the united states, in blowing up more than 100,000 citizens in iraq, for a bit more oil.
on the domestic front, john howard and his liberal government (the fact that the word "liberal" is the party name is a total oxymoron, when in truth the liberal party is an ultra-right wing-conservative-neo-fascist group, much like the dick'n'bush club in america) have basically gone backwards on their core campaign promises to the australian people. first, they sent more troops to iraq to kill people. second, they raised the federal interest rates. third, they have further manipulated and damaged medicare (the socialized medical system of the country) in favor of private medical insurance, and believe me, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this system. i was a cancer patient that was part of the medicare system, i have come out the other side, healthy and fit. there is nothing wrong with it. john howard and his liberal cronies have sold more of a the public phone company to private investors. they have continued to raise the fees of univesity education, meanwhile being forced to import skilled labourers from overseas to combat the lack of skilled citizens. this liberal government continues to take tax payer money and fund private religious schools (who already charge exhorbitant tuition) rather than fund the public school system adequately. this government has kept refugees seeking assylum incarcerated for over 3 1/2 years without processing them. many of these people are children under the age of 12. all this despite geneva convention codes of conduct. john howard has also refused to sign the kyoto protocol, irregardless of the fact that the island continent of australia is the worlds third largest forest destroyer. this liberal government is also neglecting to recognize the rights and needs of the aboriginal peoples and traditional land keepers of this country.
these are only a few of the incredible offending policies this liberal government promotes. they may be total self centered assholes, whose only concern is lining their own pockets with more money and power, but i am not as upset with them as i am with the idiot people that keep re-electing this bunch of fascist fucks. the last election 6 months ago, was the fourth time! it goes to show that the australian public on a whole, are mean people. to continually elect a government that repeatedly lies with no regret to its citizens and has no regard for human life, the environment, or the welfare of it's own people, is totally insane. you want to know the most ironic thing about the last time the country went to election? the sole reason that little shit head midget john howard was re-elected was because he promised to the (selfish) australian public he would not raise interest rates, and the australian public (neck deep in debt) bought it! well, john howard and his cronnies raised the interest rates with talk of further hikes. now the working class citizens are deeper in debt, and still the little fucker is at the helm... i no longer have sympathy for them.

not much to tell. sat down to write something this evening, and have come across writers block. i was hoping to become inspired as my little fingers danced across the keyboard. but nothing. now i am bitching about my inabilities to be creative. what's new?
there are only 11 working days left for me, on the beach. then the job's over for the next 5 months. onto something new/better/different. i am planning to work with my friend doing landscaping work. i am back to shovels and wheel barrows. a cash job, so the tax man can go and get fucked. last year i had to pay extra money in tax beyond what the government had so obligingly taken out. that was the first time in my life. this year, i am going to get mine back.

(the below writing was inspired by the words of my friend in an email to me)
Off to Prescott Valley to the pawn shop to get gas, average is about $2.35 here in AZ. It's ONE DOLLAR 10 cents MORE now a gallon than when I moved here 2 1/2 years ago. Thank you Mr. Bush...so kind of you.
as far as gas prices, hmm does it make anyone wonder who is getting rich off the 50% increase in gas prices in only two and half years? let me guess- could it be some spoilt brat, son of an oil tycoon, illiterate, rich kid, from texas? yes, that is correct. also the fact that he is using his position as president of a country, with the greatest military power on the planet, to promote his position and amass wealth, as he manipulates and totally fucks up the lives of people in other countries all over the world, it all appears to be so strange... but mysteriously unrelated. or is it? it makes me sick to think of the bullshit that guy is getting away with. but on the other hand, you have to sit back and have a good laugh when you consider the butt reeming the american public is receiving on behalf of this joke of a leader and his corrupt band of evil doers that are running the country. it is a position and policy that exists only on lies and fear generating propoganda. if it were a country in europe, people would declare it a fascist state.
so the number one guy is getting rich off oil prices, while the number two guy is war profiteering. that would be the quiet, but ever so sly and sneaky vice-president. lets just refer to him as dick chinny. thank you dick. i now sleep better at night knowing that the guns that you sell to your own military and to other militaries throughout the world, to protect your own interests and those of your boss, are killing hundreds of people a day. think about it, some one was just now killed by one of these guns, and you are making money. does it allow you to sleep better? (if i had a father like you, i too would turn into a homosexual only to piss you off, dick)dick chinny, ladies a gentlemen, be careful if he ever comes knocking on your door.

you know when you have something to say, there is a pause or interruption before you speak, and suddenly you have forgotten everything you had wanted to say. well that is how i feel today as i type this. although, my pause was about 2 hours when i sat in class. i originally was going to spout politics, then i know it changed to sports, or something, but now it is all totally irrelevant because i have forgotten it all. it must not have been all that exciting in the first place.
now, my stomach growls as i am too hungry to continue. cyberspace is just going to have to wait. food calls.

nuclear bombs. are they natural occurring phenomenon on this earth? no. so therefore is it natural for mankind to have a nuclear bomb? no. i know that doesn't change the fact that humans/nations do have nuclear bombs. america alone, has enough nuclear bombs to blow up the planet earth several times over. really, don't you think that blowing the whole planet up once is enough? this does not take into account the number of nuclear bombs in the possession of other nations. let's list off the countries with the "bomb," shall we- america, great britain, france, china, russia, georgia, ukraine, india, pakistan, isreal, north korea, and iran. the last two on the list are currently debatable, but face it, they got the bomb too. i may have missed a few countries though. now if it is acceptable for a country like india to have a nuclear bomb, why is it not acceptable for north korea to have a bomb? why can't we all have bombs, in every country? fair is fair right? if one nation can have a nuclear bomb, then shouldn't all nations have nuclear bombs? i don't see a problem with that logic.
however, i do have a major problem with two countries in particular that do have nuclear bombs. first problem is france. they have had the bomb for a long time. my major concern is that they like testing the bomb on innocent fish somewhere on the other side of the world, a long way from france. they are so fucking arrogant and rude about their nuclear tests that they blow up their bombs in other peoples territories and fishing grounds. my suggestion to france, in the future, blow up the bomb in your own neighborhood, like the mediterranean sea. afterall there are no fish in it anymore. the second country i have a problem with having the bomb is america. this is the only country to thus far in human existence and history, to have dropped the bomb onto people. not once, but twice, america has done this. ask the japanese how they feel about hiroshima and nagasaki (although it has given rise to some great post-apocolyptic cartooning and stories from that country). not only has america dropped nuclear bombs onto people, but it has the biggest bomb arsenal on land and parading around the world on under water submarines. it is also a country that jumps up and down screaming about other countries who want to have the bomb too. let's just agree that america is not a very good leader by example, especially in the nuclear bomb business.
truly, it is a topic not to get too upset about. because when the bombs start falling i don't think there will be anywhere anyone can hide. and let us face facts, a nuclear bomb is way to tempting for someone to have control over and not use. we could ask harry truman about that, if he were still alive.

i am about to watch desperate house wives on the idiot box. i guess i am hooked. but who wouldn't be with teri hatcher running around scantily clothed. i knew she was going to be a hit many years ago when she had a cameo on a very early mc guiver program. how pathetic am i?

it is official. the pope is dead. it seems that the vatican city is under siege from the hundreds of thousands of mourners, lining the vatican square to pay their respects. i also heard on the news the same is happening in krakow, poland. catholics everywhere must be screaming their "our fathers" and "hail mary's" because the pope is dead. however, i know he has been dead for years. most of us nonbeliever atheists have known this for a while, as i am sure millions of catholics around the world have suspected for years. so finally, the poor guy can rest.
i am not really trying to throw salt into an open wound here, but big deal. another pope bites the dust. i am aware that for the next week there will be a smattering across the news of pope news and historical nostalgic bullshit. did anyone see the hypocrisy of ronald reagan's funeral march threw the streets of washington d.c. about 6 months ago? people hailed that guy as a hero. but really he was a fool that enabled the world to march closer to the self destructive edge we are presently faced with. briefly recall the following- cold war, iran contra, and that ingeniously stupid idea of trickle down economics. there is more trickle down my own dick than there was in that economic policy debacle of the 1980's.
so i light of the pope, let us not forget the catholic hypocrisies around us. no contraception is allowed of any kind, in a world of over population, abortion (right to lifers please stand up), universal AIDS pandemic, child abuse, orphans, and disease and famine (the last two factor into the equation). homosexual relationships are forbidden, although countless numbers of catholic priests are still being "outed" for sexually abusing small boys. does anyone else find this odd? the new testament, and the preachings of one j.c. specifically in regards to the lesson of brotherly love and turning the other cheek. how many church sponsored wars are going on as we speak, and if not directly sponsored at least silently tolerated?
these are just a few issues of the present time, and pretty much the last 2000 years. so over the next few weeks when everyone is lamenting about john paul 2, keep in mind however "great" a picture is painted about the guy, he has still presided over catholic hypocrisies for the last 24 years.

currently i sit at a computer in the library at my university. when i walked into the computer section i chose the computer at the end of the table to sit down in front of and begin my research. it was at this point that i realized i was sitting at the computer beneath the flickering halogen light. the obvious headache was already making its future presence felt. i looked around to find another open and available compuet terminal. there was none. it was apparent why the computer i chose to use was free. the annoying light was annoying enough to drive away all other perspective users. i however, am the only one brave (foolish) enough to combat the light. i am losing thus far, as the headache takes over.

this last week there has been an abundance of news in regards to feeding tubes. first the dead woman in florida who had been kept alive for 15 years by a feeding tube, which has subsequently been turned off (she is now dead as of yesterday). the second tube, was the one going up the pope's nose (his real nose, not the ass of the chicken). over the past week with these two topics dominating the news, i have had some time to ponder this topic. truly you have to laugh about the absurdity of both. even worse is the absurdity of the people getting so emotionally charged over these issues, particularly the dead woman they were keeping alive.
what strikes me as most odd is the fact that (specifically) the ultra-christian-right has such a huge belief that it is their responsibility to keep a dead woman alive, when on the same day, they are sanctioning the actions of their president and country in blowing up and shooting dead perfectly healthy people in iraq, afghanistan, and inside their own borders. it forces me to question, do they have any regard for human life?
on the same side of the coin, these same people argue over the "right to life" for an unborn fetus, irregardless of a mothers "right" to choose. i don't want to get too deep into this argument today, but this whole point of view has its own absurdities. especially, when the biggest universal "right" is completely ignored by this same ultra-conservative-christian-right wing-idiots, and that is the right to die.
if anything, our short time on this planet, should teach us nothing else but, we will die. we all will die, and there is not a single thing we can do about it. we can try to prolong our own lives through diet exercise, medicines, or meditations, however the very apparent truth is- you live, you die. so what of it? i mean these people hold life so valuable, that they fail to recognize that death holds something even more precious and valuable to life. death completes the circle, it is the yang to the yin of existence. through the act of dying, all living creatures plant, animal, or human, transcend these worldly boundaries and become equal, regardless of race, religion, or region, in perhaps our most beautiful and ultimately final moment on this earth. even more fascinating is that after death our bodies decompose and all those protons, neutrons, and electrons that make up everything combine with everything else in the world and we can truly become one with the universe. now how far off is this idea from any religious preachings?
i guess we can argue about this all day, however, my point is- this if you are going to have so much respect for life then you must intrinsically have equal respect for death (which should lead to obvious conclusions about the euthenasia debate). i too have learned another lesson, that life is short, very very short. life, so you better play it all out, otherwise you may be regretful when your life does eventually go full circle. i wonder if the pope has realized this while he lies there with a tube going up his nose? then again i think about times when i have put a tube up my nose, it has been nothing but good times. makes you wonder just a little bit... smile, cause it is only life and death.