The Word B

i am not responsible for compiling the following list, although i am guilty of reading it many times. i feel it is too prescious to keep it too myself. so i am sharing it with you all. i hope you can get as much enjoyment and laughter out of it as i have.

You call that a "pussy"?
A rose is still a rose.


The most comprehensive vagina nickname list in the world

vagina, pussy, bearded clam, vertical smile, beaver, cunt, trim, hair pie, bearded ax wound, tuna taco, fur burger, cooch, cooter, punani, snatch, twat, lovebox, box, poontang, cookie, fuckhole, love canal, flower, nana, pink taco, cat, catcher's mitt, muff, roast beef curtains, the cum dump, chocha, black hole, sperm sucker, fish sandwich, cock warmer, whisker biscuit, carpet, love hole, deep socket, cum craver, cock squeezer, slice of heaven, flesh cavern, the great divide, cherry, tongue depressor, clit slit, hatchet wound, honey pot, quim, meat massager, chacha, stinkhole, black hole of calcutta, cock socket, pink taco, bottomless pit, dead clam, cum crack, twat, rattlesnake canyon, bush, cunny, flaps, fuzz box, fuzzy wuzzy, gash, glory hole, grumble, man in the boat, mud flaps, mound, peach, pink, piss flaps, the fish flap, love rug, vadge, the furry cup, stench-trench, wizard's sleeve, DNA dumpster, tuna town, split dick, bikini bizkit, cock holster, cockpit, snooch, kitty kat, poody tat, grassy knoll, cold cut combo, Jewel box, rosebud, curly curtains, furry furnace, slop hole, velcro love triangle, nether lips, where Uncle's doodle goes, altar of love, cupid's cupboard, bird's nest, bucket, cock-chafer, love glove, serpent socket, spunk-pot, hairy doughnut, fun hatch, spasm chasm, red lane, stinky speedway, bacon hole, belly entrance, nookie, sugar basin, sweet briar, breakfast of champions, wookie, fish mitten, fuck pocket, hump hole, pink circle, silk igloo, scrambled eggs between the legs, black oak, Republic of Labia, juice box, Golden Palace, fetus flaps, skins, sausage wallet. Holiest of Holies, sugar hole, The Death of Adam, home plate, Deer Hoof, Golden Arches, Cats Paw, Mule Nose, Yo Yo Smuggler, Mumbler (Aussie), Dinner Roll, Crotch Waffle, Piss Fenders, crack, Melvin, Dove Breast, Brakepads, Vedgie, Slurpy, Vacuum Vulva, Pastrami Flaps, Hot Tamaki Walk, Buffalo Gums, Rooster Jaws, Wagon Ruts, Beaver Teeth, Mumble Pants (Sweden), Ninja Boot, Marcia (Aussie), Skin Canoe, Fatty, Mossy Jaw, The Big W, Chia Hole, Lip Jeans, Beetle Hood, Hungry Minge, Sausage Wallet, Front Bottom, Welly Top, Frum, Pancake Fold, Tongue Roll, Bologna Flap-Over, Furrogi (Poland), Fortune Nookie (China), Bearded Taco, Calamari Cockring, Displabia, Slot Pocket, Bluntfrunt, Fishamjig, Pole Magnet, Pocket Pie, Clamarama, kitty cage, Chicken's tongue, Conch shell, Crack of heaven, Dog's mouth, Door of life, Fly catcher, Fruit cup, Jelly roll, Lobster pot, bunny tuft, KNISH, her asshole neighbor, lotus, nappy dugout, moneymaker, womens weapon, tackle box, bone hider, red sea, pizzo, JIZZ RECEPTICLE, The Helmut Hide-A-Way, hairy heaven, furry 8 ball rack, crave cave, arbys with fur, fish canyon, toolshed, snake charmer, Furby, Enchilada of love, Ham sandwich, Camarillo brillo, Brazilian caterpillar, dick rack, boy in the canoe, flesh tuxedo, Mound of Venus, queef quarters, Venus butterfly, cooter, cream canal, poontang pie, wet mark, private area, thresher, punash, salami garage, tunnel of love, slurpee machine, pink cookie, penalty box, ground zero, meat crease, bait, birth canal, holy grail, pole hole, pork pie, fuzz bucket, one-eyed python trail, bubble gum by the bum, stink rink, theme park, saloon doors, pink truffle, bitter & twisted, burger bar, meat counter, temperamental ringpiece, python syphon, big bud, the Wombsday Book, the condo downstate, snake lake, the indoor barbecue, pound cake, beef tomato, tickled pink, launch pad, horn of pl enty, the indoor picnic, hamper of goodies, flapped bap, bonefish, close encounter with the turd kind, sperm bank, man's charity bash, bush tucker, midnight dip, the one-door vulva, the welcome opponent, the Twatlantic Ocean, temporary lodgings, field of dreams, bean, cooze, old catchers mitt, devil's hole, lucy, pish buffet, pooswaa, poonaner, davey jones locker, pink panther, tinker bell, south mouth, dick eater, wonder bread, wolly bolly, foxhole, hot pocket, head catcher, Lawrence of A Labia, silk funnel, dick driver, purple people penis eater, meat curtains, ponchita, cherry pop tart, fat rabbit, scunt, pee jaws, mingus, The Notorious V.A.G., stench trench, poon jab, nappy dugout, babyoven, penis parking, cooter muffin, the promised land, cock pocket, cha cha, the shrine, bitch ditch, fury pink mink, mammal hole, ever-lasting cum stopper, the toothless blow job, happy flappy, wilt chamberlian's daily glove, the code defierthe salt water taffy factory, mommy's pie, the easy bake oven, the deflower patch, the virginator, the schlong sucker, the dea bone patch, the vegitarian's temptation, the vegan store, the blow hole, the pump protector, bag pipe, Spitball Bullseye, meat wagon, pickle stinker, jezebel's smell, yoni, willys haven, scrumpter, peach, sweat box, yeast pocket, penis warmer, tampon tunnel, penis pothole, cucumber canal, egg drop Box, sperm shack, dick dungeon, cock curator, b.o.b.'s bungalow, mommy parts, tuna pot pie, nice slice, peter vise, cock sock, rack of clam, peters grove, penis purse, grandest canyon, fish dish, banana box, tuna spread, pink portal, count fapula, red river gorge, happy valley, revolving in/out door, baby zipper, richards house, stop-n-pop, bone polisher, packin shack, weiner wrap, clap trap, camel toe, dildo hotel, axe gash, pearl hotel, sea food six pack, clam canal, coose canal, dick deposit, wand waxer, vidgie, erie canal, candy kiss, gauntlet, round mound of beehound,lick n' stick, lap flounder, tomahawk chop, chin-chin, pachinko, cuntry pie, lip tip, the big casino, one eyed worm hole, amazon forest, cock cave, fuck donut, coochie pop, babby, wet seal, pissy froth hole, bald biscuit, the unmentionable, mans ruin, peeshie, hairy potter, courtney cocksleve, panty hamster,deep pink, jaws of life, gizmo, faith, cock magnet, slippery slide, Meat tunnel, pink heaven, squid, dick basket, hot spot, poochika, pudding, bowl, love cave, squeeze-box, quim, honey pot, the bone collector, goodie basket, depository, pink turtleneck, bread-box, little debbie, pole hole, pandora's box,snail tracker, cuntzilla, homebase, pud pocket, bear trap, indian bones and the temple of poon, chanch, big montana, noochie, choot, golden valley, nappy roots, dick mitten, mystical fold

since i have started my new career, landscaping, i have been waking up before dawn. today was like most other mornings, the alarm went off, i hit snooze once, and then got up the next time it sounded in complete darkness. during the night the wind had been howling, so i was expecting it to be an interesting day. however, when i had a look out the window, i was surprised to see the window being splattered by rain. the rain was coming in sideways! needless to say work was cancelled. the phone rang as i was preparing to walk out the door, the boss saying there was no work. i was still dressed and had lunch packed (like the good little employee that i am) anticipating to work in the rain, much to my dissatisfaction, which never came to fruition anyhow.
i have at times felt behind the eight ball financially, lately. so the need to work and earn some money has been of utmost importance. yet, i too take a bit of pleasure in rain days. it is like an unexpected holiday in the middle of the week. although i am disappointed that it hurt my earning potential, i was still wondrously looking at the impact weather has on humanity. it is funny to me, that despite the best made plans for work etc. the weather, in an instant, will change everything. the landscaping industry is left helpless. rain is good. i am loving this rain. i just hope i can go to work tomorrow to make some money. although the predictions are for blue skies an sunshine. i'll believe it when i see it.
on a side note- australia has been suffering from a major drought. tomorrow will mark the day exactly at six years since i have lived in this country, and the whole time it has been in drought. now there are huge floods going on in many parts of the country. go figure on the flooding and the six years. i always figured the flooding would have come first.

i don't feel like blogging now. i have nothing to say.

"It's summer, and enjoying the hot nights of dodgers, Vince Scully, the screen-door open and drinking a beer."
these are the words of my cousin. it is funny to have them verbalized to me (or written) because i was only expressing the desire to return to this, to my wife the other day. living in australia has it's advantages and high points. however, i have found it extremely difficult to give up my american sports and adopt new ones here. although i am in the process of doing exactly that, i would much prefer a baseball game any day.
another reason i think this time of year makes me homesick, is because my body clock is still tuned into the northern hemisphere clock. despite the fact i have lived here for 6 years. it will be 6 years exactly on the 1st of july, this friday. in july i want baseball. in november i want football, and in march i want basketball.
i know i have the option of getting cable television, but i can't afford that in my life. price is a small factor in that equation, rather it is the fact that i would be glued to the sports channel all the time and would never get anything accomplished, such as this blog for example. then what would you all look forward to reading on a regular basis?

today was once again a rain day in sydney. rain. two days in a row. who would have thought? yes, it happened. today being a monday was to be the first day back to work, but doing landscaping in the rain is not anything i look forward to. it was planned to be jack hammers in a mud hole, and all that shit. well, needless to say work was cancelled. hooray.
so this morning, after getting an early coffee with a mate, i decided to attend lord bikram's house of heat, pain, and punishment. i had not been to a session in nearly six months. i didn't know what to expect of my body, but i needed to stretch and have a work out.
the yoga studio is pretty big. the room size is about 20 meters by 10 wide, with the long wall in front fully mirrored, so you can concentrate on the yoga pose. i arrived early, by about 15 minutes, put out my matt about three rows back and chilled out in the insane heat of the room. various people began filtering in for the 9:30 class and filling up the room. most people when they walk in and find their place in the room, position themselves accordingly around the room so as not to block the view in the mirror for the behind set up behind them. all was pleasant. until...
this fat assed, self centered, bleach bottled, blonde, cow walked in 2 minutes before the class was to begin, and put her mat directly in front of me, right in front of the mirror. she was not slightly to the left or just a bit to the right. she was square directly in front. it was not as if the class was full by any means. there were only about 25 people in the room, and i have been in there when there has been over 60 (and that was way fucking hot=hell). so i know the capacity of the room. this chick had the bull shit ego centric attitude to just plop herself in front of another person, and entirely interrupt the view. this is the type of selfish attitude that seems to be permeating every corner of the city of sydney. frankly, it makes me sick. it has caused me to feel ill for a long time, but more recently i just can't stand it. you would think that such a remote place on the planet, so far removed from what is going on with the rest of the world where important things.

it is still mid morning on a sunday. it is raining outside and the whole mood is a lazy indoors day, full of relaxation. i was awake way too early for a day where nothing was planned and i could sleep until my hearts content. but i couldn't. so i got up and made a pancake breakfast with coffee. now i am catching up on a few emails and the rest will unfold as it will. maybe i am due for a nap soon. although we are expected for a roast dinner this afternoon at a friends house. that isn't until the sun sets. i sort of want to go for a surf, but am feeling too sendentary to even get up and check the waves. i am also making the excuse of dirty water from the rain run-off. living in a city with 4 million people, when it rains the ocean gets to be completely filthy. especially since we have not had a significant rain for some months to was out all the crap that has accumulated on the streets. last year, i got a severe case of infantigo on my chin after going for a swim post major rain. even though i have my hepatitis A&B vaccinations, i still don't like to risk it. but who knows, the surf might be too good and i could be out in it shortly. this may read like a big excuse at the moment, but internally i am beginning to get fired up. however, the bed is calling my name too. i feel like a rope in a tug-o-war.

we had a garage sale at our place this morning. wow. what a chore. our house is a little hard to find, but people found it. we had everything set up the night before in preparation, and i am so glad we did. we put a small ad in the local paper for 25 bucks, and put up about 5 signs in strategic local positions. we had advertised the sale hours from 8am-1pm. we were told to be ready for early arrivals. i had made a conscious effort to wake up and cook some breakfast, early.
our door bell rang at 6:50am! there was a guy standing there asking if he could have a look in the garage to see what we were selling. the sun was not even up (although the sky was light) he even had a flashlight to inspect the furniture. i don't think he was there more than 5 minutes and was gone. we could believe it. things were quiet for the next 15 minutes and then we got slammed. there were about 60 people that came through before 8 o'clock in the morning, when we were to officially start. we had sold most of the furniture and more expensive items by this point anyhow. once again, we couldn't believe it.
during the course of the next 5 hours we sold a little bit, but most of it was just knick-knack and other crap that you get rid of for a buck or fifty cents. by noon we were exhausted, and began to pack up as things were very quiet. a few more stragglers came by and we sold a couple other things. i drove around and pulled down the signs while cherry packed up the rest. we put things away, and boxed up the rest we didn't sell, to be picked up tomorrow by a charity organization. then we came inside, counted the earnings and discussed how we would spend the money. all that cash was instantly starting to burn a hole in our pocket. then we took a nap.

i read this book and it has changed my life, perspective, and a lot more. the book is called MUTANT MESSAGE DOWN UNDER, by marlo morgan. the premise is basically about an american woman who came to australia to do medical research/work in the health care system of australia. through a series of events, she gets invited to meet with an aboriginal group somewhere in the outback. she goes on a walkabout with the group. the aboriginal people she meets, consider themselves as the "real people," the only true descendants of ancient indigenous peoples of the australian continent, but related to everyone in the world through common ancestry. what i write here is nowhere near the accuracy, intimacy, or justice of information that is written in the book. the message is simple- life is simple, but we humans just seem to complicate it. we have complicated it so much that we have begun to severely fuck up the home we have provided for us- earth.
the book is a quick, easy, and enjoyable read. i recommend it to every person alive. it should be required reading for everyone.
a funny circumstance about the book came up for me when i was in a book shop looking to buy a copy to give as a gift. the guy working in the bookshop said, "we haven't sold that book for years. they proved that lady to be totally wrong." i sort of had to laugh, because part of the message in the book contends with attitudes like that. fiction or nonfiction, regardless it is a life changing book. i found my copy at a second hand book shop. pick up your own copy, look for it in the library, or borrow it from me, whatever. just read it, and make up your own mind about the mutant message.

this here is another interesting report on plane numebr 4. somewhere in the back of my mind i too have been wondering why i have not heard much information on the subject. this story leaves quite the mystery, however, it is not as thorough or compelling as the world trade center theory. although the two are definitely linked. i know that when you read one, you cannot help yourself to read them both. i encourage you to read.
yes, it may all be hyped up bullshit, but then again there could be some truth in it. if there is any truth to it, then you would think that the american government should and would be looking deeply into the matter. after all, wasn't it bush jr. who had said he would "leave no stone unturned" when looking for the people who did this- referring to september 11th, 2001.
i am not giving my opinion here, i am just encouraging you to open your mind to the possibilities out there. why? because no one has presented any firm answers yet...

this one is for all those conspiracy theorists out there. i read this article the other day and have been somewhat perplexed and deep in thought myself. i vividly recall that day and watching it on my grandfather's television set while visiting him in the mountains of southern oregon, 3000 miles away from all the shit going down in new york city. it was certainly a huge surprise for everyone, the world over. after reading the linked article, i am wondering about who was NOT surprised about the hijacking of 4 planes and the crashing of 3 of them into city buildings. if you have 20 minutes, read it! it is compelling evidence. certainly i am not at all surprised about a government cover-up. do the intials JFK mean anything? the american government will cover-up anything.

what a weekend for home renovation. i can't escape this place. it has been a 4 day renovation fest 2005. i am over it, but feeling quietly satisfied. friday, had the second final i was anticipating. as expected the professor was a total wanker and put questions on most material he wrote. good thing i studied that part. however, came home to start digging in the garden. basically, i cut out a lot of plants and other crap and cleared one of the garden beds. then spent most of saturday digging up hydrangeas from one part of the yard and transplanting them to another part of the yard. oh joy. it was hard work, but i did it. sunday was spent doing much the same but more focused on digging out another garden bed and ripping out a few of the trees and bushes in that corner. the biggest worry was the thousands of bulbs that i sifted and pulled out by hand. i got most, but am sure there are many more in there, but will have to attack them when they spring up. today, was an inside day, fitting the new door handles, we purchased months ago, onto the doors. it was totally time consuming, but the doors look awesome. cherry had spent saturday and sunday painting them while i was in the yard. after the 8 day straight painting episode i had last month, i threw the towel in and gave it up. the doors just hung there, half finished, and cherry took it upon herself to complete them. i wasn't going to do another thing about it. together, the door are finished, swinging, latching, happy doors. next project...
on the hardware side of things, there was many adventures to be had. after all, what do-it-yourself home renovation weekend would be complete with about a million visits to the hardware store. it began saturday arvo with a trip to get turps (paint thinner) and to look for a smoke detector, an axe, and some hedge shears. so i went to the local hardware conglomerate. they had a sale on the axe and hedge shears, but ran out on the shears. i was told to go to the big area headquarters warehouse to find the same shears at the same sale price. first trip- i only bought turps. that night, on a hot date, cherry and i went to the hardware conglomerate big area headquarters and did a little evening courting throughout the isles as we picked up the axe, smoke detector, a new tape measure, and the shears. there was no sale price on the hedge shears. i presented my case at the sales desk. the problem was the local hardware conglomerate, where i had visited earlier in the day, was closed. there was no way to confirm the price of the hedge shears, bad luck. i passed on them, and bought everything else. first thing sunday morning i was back to the hardware conglomerate big area headquarters for my sale priced garden shears. after about 20 minutes of phone calls and discussion etc. store 1 had no idea about the price i was presented the day before, so headquarters thus had their hands tied. i was about to walk away and leave the whole matter behind me, when a manager presented herself and decided to intervene on my behalf. in the end i got what i wanted for the price i wanted. not that i am penny pinching, but money is a bit tight for us at the moment, and i know that eventually we will need these shears, although we are not desperate for them now. the price difference was about 33% or 1/3 less or $20. basically, in the end it was more a matter of principle for me rather than financial. so major situation avoided. today, monday, while putting on the door handles, i had to shorten some of the screws according to the smaller width of the doors. i needed a hack saw, which we don't have. i was over the hardware conglomerate so ventured to the local pawn shop and found exactly what i was after, plus a pitch fork, which we were in the market for anyhow. the price? 15 dollars for both. the pitch fork, brand new at the conglomerate was about 5 times that price. you do the math. then it was down the street to the local hardware to purchase a blade for the saw. while there, we finally broke down and bought the wheel barrow we have been shopping around for since about the time we actually settled on the house. they are pretty pricey, but due to our yard and plans we had to get one. so we did. just to keep the ongoing tally up to date- turps, smoke detector, tape measure, axe, shears, pitch fork, hack saw, and wheel barrow.
yes, we are certainly gathering quite the collection. on one hand, here i am trying to downsize and liquidate my belongings so i can feel more streamline in my life, and on the other hand we are buying all these tools. i guess we are becoming the quintessential home owners. who would have thought? certainly not me. i feel as if i am living the suburban nightmare at times, yet in some ways i am blissfully going along with it all. it is no wonder all my inner turmoil.

what does the "W" really stand for? it must be for "wanker." i woke up this morning to hear that bush jr. and his mates are considering to never ever release the detainees that are locked up at the guantanamo bay facility the US government is running in cuba. what a complete joke and farce which laughs in the face of democracy, the american constitution, civil liberties, and the idea of freedom- the same cause that has america fighting wars all over the world in the name of. why are they being held in the first place? they are suspected terrorists. but what is a terrorist really? are they simply the ragheads from the middle east the the american government would have us believe, or could they be the ones dropping explosives on men, women, and children from planes flying overhead? of the 500 or so detainees in guantanamo bay prison, only 4 have had any charges laid against them. think about that. i would hope that it makes you question what exactly the "forces of freedom" are doing in iraq and afghanistan in the first place.
if you ask the two top officials in washington, their response would be "freedom and democracy." although if they were being tortured in guantanamo like the other inmates living there (some for nearly 4 years now) i am sure they would tell you something very different, "oil and guns, money and power." welcome to the american politics of dick'n'bush.

tonight it is all happening. right now i should be studying for that final i have tomorrow, but i am doing this instead. you can call it procrastination- straight up. actually, i pretty well know most of the material, so am not feeling too daunted yet. also tonight is match 2 of the state of origin. it is the rugby league match up between the all-star players from NSW (blues) playing against Queensland (maroons). queensland won the last game 3 weeks ago. it is a best of 3 series. we are having some friends over to watch it. i still must cook some dinner and find some time to study in between it all. i am predicting the blues to win by 4. like i mentioned yesterday, i am spot on with the predictions lately. only time will tell, and in this case it will all be over in about 4 hours, maybe 5. not that i am the biggest rugby league fan. of all the codes of footy played here in australia, it is the one i have taken to the least, but these are probably the best games to watch. even the grand final at the end of the year is typically not at good as the state of origin matches. this time of year it is baseball season in america, and basketball is in the finals, hockey would be in the finals if there was a season. however, i up and moved south, and left behind my favorite sports. the alternative is not as fun for me. cricket i simply cannot get into. i went to a game once, and just got drunk, spent the last half yelling at the people around me. i created more of a spectacle than the cricket game did. well, enough. i must study and cook and clean and get drunk and watch rugby and go to bed and wake up and take a test and well you get the idea.

i reckon i should be a book maker. well at least a gambler. today michael jackson was acquitted of all charges laid against him for sexual molestation. i have been saying since day one "he is innocent." no, i am not one of those neurotic fans, but i am a fan of his music. however, that is beside the point. my point? i predicted he would be found innocent. i predicted schapelle would be found guilty. i was 50/50 on OJ, but so was everyone else. the next big court case that is in the media spot light, call me. i will tell you how it will turn out. i am that good. if i was to bet on it before hand, i would have made some money. however, i am not a gambler, as i stated earlier. i am actually shit house at it. i have gone to the horse track several times, the result would have been more interesting if i had lit a match to my money rather than handing it across the counter for a race stub.
so will michael put out another record? you bet your ass he will (you must be over 18 to bet). will michael go on tour again? same answer.
now a comment on michael jackson personally: he is a weird guy. no doubt about it. but who wouldn't be all fucked up from a life on stage in front of an audience hanging off your every word, dance step and smile. ed sullivan was sucked in, and so were you. then there is the whole skin color debate, well do not ever forget this little jig (we used to recite this when i was in the fourth grade). "i pledge allegiance to the flag, michael jackson is a fag. pepsi cola burned him up, now he's drinking 7-up." i am not sure about his sexual orientation. officially he doesn't go for little boys, he's innocent remember. big ones? he has a few children, and they are going to end up severely troubled adults (another prediction of mine, you could bet the house on). i am not sure what his official beverage of choice is, but i do distinctly recall MJ being scorched by the pyrotechnics while filming a commercial for pepsi-cola. it was around 1984, during the thriller album era. ever since then, he has had the radical change in color, the major plastic surgery, and the gloved hand. all of which i point the finger at pepsi-cola.

i have this scratchy throat. i feel physically tired, despite the fact i had a good solid night of sleep. when i close my eyes they burn and ache. i am fighting a bug. the flu, a cold, i don't know which but whatever it is, i am determined not to let it get me. i keep dosing up on the vitamin c, gargling with salt water, hot cups of tea, and rest, although my life of work and school are demanding time and energy of me. it is all taking its toll. today i am once again back at school, it is monday. the next two days, i have work, then a day of school (i must attend as i have a project to present and essay paper to hand in) then another day of work on friday. i have only about 400 more words to write in the essay, then go home to type it up and viola- that is done. here in the library i am surrounded by other people who are definitely sick. i wonder which one of them gave this to me? it is the beginning of an epidemic around here. so i best do what i must do and get the hell out of here. i won't get sick, i won't get sick, i won't get sick. health is my ambition. i will succeed.

this morning my wife and i were stood up. last week we had met some friends in town coincidentally. at the time we were planning to do our thing and return home, however, we were talked into a bottle of champagne and from there a few bottles of red wine and a couple of pizzas. it was a fun, spontanteous evening. at the first encounter that night, we had invited this other couple over to our house, for sunday brunch. they had several times over the past few months expressed a desire to come "check out" our new place etc. so we figured why not have a brunch at our place and hang out. once again at the close of the evening we said, "see you next sunday..." and everything was confirmed.
all week, this morning's planned brunch was playing in the back of my mind. i had declined another invitation for a surf, and had worked my own job list around the day and time. last night, cherry and i went to the market to get those last few things to prepare for the meal (and i went once more this morning to the bakery). this morning, after waking up and lounging around in bed, we got up, did some cleaning and house prep before we began in the kitchen. when ever we host parties or get togethers, we always like to be over prepared with food and drink rather than finding ourselves short at the moment. cherry baked muffins and squeezed some fresh orange juice, and i prepared pototoes and was beginning to get the eggs and omelette fixings cut and ready, when i began to have doubts. the expected guests were already 45 minutes late. cherry asked me "should we put on a pot of coffee?" that was when i thought perhaps we should phone them to find out their e.t.a. so i dialed the number. expected guest #1 answered. "good morning," i said "when do you think you will be here, we are nearly ready." the response was something like "oh shit," but not even that rewarding for me. basically, it had slipped both their minds. instead of being at our place as planned, they were out walking the dog with other plans organized for later in the day. i was upset, but rather than carry on about it and listen to apologies and pathetic excuses i said, "well i am hungry and going to finish cooking so we can eat. call me later and we can work something out." i hung up. i cooked up eggs, and our meal and food for four, was now eaten by two. there are plenty of left overs, that will not go to waste. yes, i was a little disappointed, but not as pissed off as my wife.
after breakfast, we went to the fish shop to inquire about out sick goldfish (we recently got an aquarium). when we returned there was a bottle of wine on the doorstep- a step in the right direction, and a groveling message from expected guest #2 on the answering machine. it was at least a nice thought, but i would have preferred to have a morning full of food and fun with friends. instead, it was a morning of too much food and fun with my wife, and a hollow feeling in the gut from being stood up. it may be another year before they get invited over again.