The Word B

it feels as if someone has pushed the fast forward button on my life and forgotten they have done so. everything seems to be happening so damn fast. i don't have the time to catch up or enjoy the moment. there is a constant influx of "things to do." try as i might to get through the list, but the chores, due dates, meetings, and deadlines keep piling on top faster than i can count them.
truthfully, i am happy to do them all, but just not all at once. if i could have things my way, i would rather do a few items here and there. however, that is not to be.
i am currently neck deep in doing my student teaching for my education diploma- to be a teacher. this is all going well, but necesitates a lot of my time and energy. frijole (the baby) is due in the next 4 weeks, so there is a mad rush to get the last minute things in order. cherry is good and pregnant, and i am needing to look after her a bit more, although she is still mighty capable in most areas. the garden needs tending, i am doing my best to keep up with that, but it is beginning to show the neglect in some areas- the vegies need planting, lawn could use a mow. the renderers showed up 4 days early, and have begun rendering the house, already it looks great. yet, this has caused me to drop everything and last night i moved several pallets of bricks away from the side of the house. this activity took me well into the darkness of night. i have homework assignments to begin for my university courses. i am trying, without any luck, to organize an interview time with the department of education for new south wales. this is to be done on the internet, but their web site sucks and won't allow me to book a time. on sunday we are due up the coast for the christining (sp?) of a friends child. i am happy to go, but it has now become one more thing on the list. i am also due to demolish the back balcony on our house on saturday morning, thankfully a friend is going to help me with that job. and i am supposed to be resting and healing from my surgery. this is probably the most important thing i could do, but have no time to allow for it. plus, my body is fighting a cold, which is getting the better of me because of all the other activity i am finding myself doing.
i need to scream now. aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaahahgfafhaoehrwnlnadmnxxxxaaagg!
i feel better. i keep telling myself "next week. next week it will all be better." maybe it is true, maybe it is a lie, either way it will be next week. what i do know is, i am glad to be alive. the rest is just entertainment so i am not bored.

you know, i sit down to write something and just come up with a total blank. it happens sometimes. i find it frustrating, but hey, what the hell can i do?
my saturday today started off well. we drove to avalon to check out the book fair that was on. in the end for 30 bucks, came away with some good books (all a tax right off, now that i am a teacher). originally, i has looking for some english lesson planning books, or books to help facilitate a lesson etc. but that range was slim and totally uninspiring. if i had a teacher try to use any of that material on my when i was in school i would have gone insane. basically, it was boring shit! however, we did find a few books worthy of classroom use, one for my university course, and a few childrens books for use on frijole, when frijole comes of age.
after the book fair, we checked out the beach, but i decided against the planned swim, because the day turned out to be quite frigid, especially in the wind. instead, i had a coffee and returned home to make a few overseas phone calls, have some lunch and a rest. then the remainder of the afternoon was dedicated to smashing and demolishing. i ripped off the aluminum awning over the back door, and took down the lame security shutters on the downstairs windows. the old lady who lived here before we did, had them installed. the house is booked in to be rendered in the next few weeks, so this is all prep work. all in all this house is coming along. we have some ambitious plans to fulfill before the end of the year. i think we are up for the challenge. but who knows once frijole arrives?? only a few more weeks to go now, then the verdict will be in.

i am officially complete with my first semester of student teaching (hooray). the plan is to have a weekend and roll right into my next session on monday. only 4 weeks to go. today was not the best day, as it was friday, and the students were so disinclined to learn. it is frustrating at times, but understandable from their perspective. it is challenging not to let on too much that i empathize with that behavior. really, who in their right mind wants to be at school on a friday afternoon. certianly not me. i never wanted to be there when i was school age either. i wasn't getting paid then, and i am not getting paid now. so perhaps when i do get paid for it maybe my song will change. until then, bring on the bell.
the lesson i did learn is that on a friday afternoon, it is advisable to show a video for the last part of the class. i had the students attention for the first 30 minutes then they lost focus. the end result, i gave in and allowed them to talk at their desks the remainder of the period. why fight it? when it is 20 to 1 there is no way i was going to win. i figured i won a little the battle of keeping them at their seats for most whole period.
ladies and gentlemen, these are your children- the future of the world, the ones who will be looking after you when you are drooling and in diapers.

i have read somewhere the following- grandparents and grandchildren are natural allies. this is me with my grandfather "poppy" on our recent trip to the united states. i love him so much.

the past few days i have been busy. saturday i worked in the garden all day. although i called it quits at 3pm and went inside to have a couple of beers and watched the wallabies lose to the all blacks, as expected.
yesterday was sunday, and we spent the morning at the beach. it was so nice. we both jumped in the water. it was cold though, then i went for a run up the beach and back for about 8 minutes non stop. i was exhausted, but very pleased with myself for being able to do it. then i went for another swim. it wasn't so bad, since i was all heated up from the run.
over the past few days i have been taking up the grass in the back yard in one corner as i am going to plant a veggie garden. the grass i have taken up i have tried to plant in other areas around the yard where the grass was patchy, so it has taken alot longer than i hoped but i am nearly finished with that chore. we are too strapped for cash to just chuck out the grass and plant nice new turf. it would be so much easier and have an instantly more uniform look to it. but really, after spring kicks in and the heat of summer turns on, the grass will grow so fast, you wouldn't be able to tell. then i will spend most of my time "chasing the green buffalo," otherwise known as mowing the lawn.
i have gone back to doing my student teaching, and am doing that full time monday-friday. it is exhausting, yet today i came home and worked for 2 hours in the back yard, moving more grass and pulling weeds etc. i have so much to catch up on it seems like i can never get ahead in that yard, but i know that one day it will be just as we want it, then i am sure we will move.
we already have a scare crow in the yard. it is left over from last years halloween party. so once the garden up, gretchen- the name of our scare crow, will have an instant job. don't know if she'll scare off the birds though, as a few tend to hang out in the back yard as it is.
tomorrow after work, i am planning on another jog, but i might just get stuck into finishing off the garden and prep it for planting, although i think i am going to need more dirt. dirt, jog, it is a tough decision to make. anyway you look at it, it's work. but damn it is good to be alive. i am just not enjoying the overwhelmed feeling i get on a daily basis. it was good being on holidays. i think i am about over due for another one...

so i get this email with a link to your birthday. it has all the events that were going on at that time, the phase of the moon, your special numbers, star signs, a list of people who share the same birthday, and the clencher- the day you were most likely conceived. pretty cute, eh?
so, people i know all over the world are having babies, or about to drop them. i just found out, just this second, one girl had her baby in the parking lot of the hospital. it is all so exciting isn't it?
we too will be joining the club of parenthood very soon. i can hardly wait. last night i fell asleep with my hand on my wife's belly, while frijole was drumming away. i am so pleased that we did not find out the sex of frijole. it seems to me like such a lame fad. i know others "want to prepare..." but for what? you are having a child! someone put it to me the other day, "we are categorized by our gender for our entire lives, it is nice for a while to not have those classifications placed upon an individual." i am in full agreement here. even the mystery and the speculation is so much fun. we will find out the answer soon enough to the gender question. however, even if we found out at the 18 week mark, what could we do about it anyway? i am going to love my child regardless.
really, the only question in my mind is this- i put frijole's details into the b-day calculator, and the result was that i had sex on january 2, 2006- so is that correct? i can't remember. it could have been around the time of the wild party on new years eve...

today is monday. i have once again begun the first day of my practical teaching component to complete the diploma in education course. basically, this translates to- i am doing the time to get the paper. then i can be a paid teacher in this country.
the negative side to all this is the fact that i basically work full time over these weeks and get no pay out of it. this makes life more challenging as i am not able to work or have an income from another source. you can do the math here. thus, we are chomping into our savings to survive. i am too buggered after a day in the classroom to get my head and body around finding another job. then there is the weekend. life is too short. i know for a fact, as i have learned this lesson not once, but twice now.
i figure working for free to become a teacher is like volunteer work for a field of work you have an interest in. afterall, thousands of teachers have come before me. they have had to suffer just as i am, without the financial compensation. so now, i too, am getting "jumped in" just so i can join the ranks of educators across the globe. if i put any more meaning into this, and didn't just sit back and have a laugh about it (because the whole thing is farcical) i would have the potential to becoming a disgruntled teacher even before i began. the thought of that is even funnier.
yes, i survived the first day back. can i do another 29 days? piece of cake.

i've been dreaming about is for nearly three months. i have been talking about it for about two months. i have been threatening to do it for the past three days. today i finally did it.... i got back on the surf board and went for a surf. it was fantastic.
i wasn't out looking for the biggest surf. i just wanted a nice 2-3 foot wave, and that is what i got at long reef today. the water was crystal clear and warm. the sun was out with a blue sky. the wave the ocean put up was awesome.
i have been unsure how my stomach would cope lying on a surf board and paddling around, post operation. except for one moment when i went over a wave and strained my abdominal muscles (i squeeled in pain), the entire session was perfect. i caught all but 2 waves i paddled for. i surfed like i haven't been out of the water for three months. it felt like it could have been last week since my last wave. the rest of the people in the line up would have had no clue i was lying in the hospital this past may. i could hardly imagine it myself.
i am feeling great at the moment in my recovery and fitness levels. i am exhausted tired tonight, but am stoked with the outlook of a healthy future.
tomorrow i am back to my student teaching at the local high school around the corner. i am doing six weeks straight- no pay. i am eager to get it all over and done with. i am a bit over the study and work full time routine. i am way over the work for free routine. shit, they could at least offer me peanuts or something. in order to give the appearance of a changed man, i decided to grow a bit of facial hair. perhaps it will provide me with a bit more authority in the class. yeah, right.

the past week it has finally stopped raining. the first week of our glorious return was not so glorious, as we were confronted with rain, jet lag, house work, and some sort of cold/flu bug we picked up in transit. however, we have conquered all.
today, i have spent most of the sunshine hours outside working in the back yard. since having so much rain as of late, one part of the grass has turned into a bog. so i have put in some drainage pipe in hopes of preventing the bog to reoccur. that too some time. then i began building a new garden bed along the fence line and moving some of the turf i had pulled up. basically, i have moved piles of dirt and rocks in and out of holes all day long. in the end, it looks pretty much the same, but i know underneath, it is better.
honestly, i am just happy to be alive and healthy enough to actually do some work. it feels so therapeutic so play in the dirt. if you don't know what i am talking about, then go out and start playing in the dirt right this minute.
my day ended with a long soak in the bath.

i must be acting under the forces of nature. ever since we have returned home from our north america tour, i have had this imperative urge to fix up the nursery. over the past few days, i have put together the basanet, put up shelving, cleaned, the floors, waxed up the rocking chair, and carried basket loads of baby clothes between upstairs and the laundry downstairs. never in my life have i felt this way. i feel like a swallow, darting around from here to there with this unrelenting urgency. is this the paternal instinct?
most of the clothes are now folded, waiting to be put away. then what? i guess the waiting game begins. we are now approaching the 7 weeks to go mark. things are starting to get very exciting. there are still a few other small items we need to prepare for the home birth. so we have made a check list and we are checking it twice. up to this point everything is going smoothly.

why is it that people continue to smoke cigarettes? even though most people realize and know that smoking is a leading factor in heart disease and cancer, they still choose to smoke. it amazes me. despite this conundrum, i still hang out with those that smoke. in fact, i always have hung out with the smokers- all my life.
although i do not smoke, i have occasionally had a puff or two, and in a drunken fit have sucked down a few cigarettes in my life time. however, i have never bought a pack of cigarettes for myself. i have purchased them for others. once, i bought a pouch of loose leaf tobacco while in morroco, in order to roll up and smoke the stick of chocolate hash i had bought. that is was the high light of my tobacco smoking career. pot? well that is another story for another time.
these days, i still hang out with the smokers. yet, it is from a greater distance and up wind from the harsh smell. i have to always ask of those people, "why do you smoke?" the most common response is, "i am trying to quit." i always find that statement ironic. usually, i reply with "why not quit now?" and that is met with silence and a long thoughtful drag on the cigarette, before it is put out. their body, their life.
you can choose to smoke. i can choose to not hang out with you. all that is just fine. however, what pisses me off the most is the irresponsible fuck-wit with no self respect that simply tosses their cigaretter butt where ever they may be. i can only say this. pick up after yourself!

so in rediscovering the world of college life, i was put onto this site. this is an insight into one of the many projects that are going on out there. it is a pretty amazing little gadget, and it is entertaining to watch. it is a lot more entertaining than watching the guy suck marijuana through the bong. however, if i or you were the one sucking on the bong, along with some of our friends while listening to carlos santana, well that would certainly be more entertaining than the styrofoam tornado project.
a word of caution, once you enter the youtube.com arena it is easy to get sucked into the vortex and never come out. beware

i've been on and off planes for the past 3 weeks. i have changed time zones so many times, i don't know when i am. i have gone sleepless more than 6 nights in that time. finally, i have left a hot, balmy, southern california summer to return to a cold damp winter in australia. some where in that time i have picked up a bug- it is a cough, runny nose, and now a sore throat due to one enormous swollen gland (on the left side). i am still jet lagged and my alergies are raging in this dusty house. maybe i have SARS?
since, returning home, i have mowed lawns and cleaned the yards, and today i have vacuumed the whole house, and tackled small projects around the place. we are only on our third day back, and already i am beginning to feel like i never left. i have just woken from a nap and don't feel much better. i think i hit the wall four days ago, but only just realized it now.
the day is feeling like it is about to rain.

we are back. i was not ready to leave, but in the end had to. my wife and yet to be born child were boarding the plane and i couldn't be left behind. although it was a tearful good-bye at the airport. really it was a tearful good-bye for the past 4 days as i parted with friends and family i will not see again for some time.
i want to state it once again for the record- i had the best time. everywhere we went, everything we did, and everyone we saw, it was a great 6 week adventure.
so the plane ride? what an experience! we were hearded into economy class with the rest of the cattle. about an hour into the flight, the cabin crew started to serve dinner. both cherry and i declined, due to the fact that the food was a bit gross and we had also pigged out at a mexican restaurant only an hour before boarding the plane (i overly pigged out, as i needed to get my fix). i ordered a bourbon on the rocks and cherry ordered a tea. that was our in flight meal. it couldn't have been more than 5 minutes after receiving our drinks, while we were watching the movie, when i heard cherry squeeling and squirming in her seat. i looked over and she was covered in her tea. some lady had been digging into the overhead compartment and dropped her hardcover bible onto cherry, spilling her tea and whacking her in the abdomen and thus hitting frijole. i was upset. cherry was clearly upset. the woman who had caused the ruckus was upset but helpless to do anything other than say, "i'm sorry. i am so sorry."
finally the flight attendant came up with some towels and a bit of ice, as we were unsure how burned cherry was from the hot tea. it turned out she was not burned, but soaked through. about one minute later the flight attendant stood cherry up in the aisle, then pointed to me saying, "get your bags and follow me." i began to smile as i new where we were headed.
we followed him towards the front of the plane where we were given two business class seats! it was totally awesome. frijole fought of christianity at an early age and we got upgraded. the result was a few hours of uninterrupted sleep on the 14 1/2 hour flight between LA and sydney. after that it was pretty smooth sailing the rest of the way.
however, we have still been battling jet lag and there are about a million and a half things to do. last night we slept in our own bed for the first time in 6 weeks. let me tell you, it was awesome. i slept nearly 13 hours straight. i am still a little tired today, but i am charging through it.
(if you don't want to take my word for it then read this story to find out a different perspective on the events)